Sunday, April 30, 2006
my new membErship card.. lazy to take pic of my card so just coup from the website.. hahaz.. nice card manz... just that need to spend $20 and above then can get 15% off.. anyone wanna go? =]
dEminG
chiLLing ouT aT a caFe... So sinFuL buT enjoyabLE!
My mind's unweaving/ 11:09 AM
anyways today went to bugis junction to watch the levi's dance comp.. standard not as high as i hoped.. but well it got me dazzling ard even when i walked.. loLx.. its torturous remembering the days when i used to dance.. that seeing them dance on stage make me envious of them.. haiz... if only i could join a grp thats good.. tried b4.. but aint good enough to chreorograph a dance on my on... haiz... I MISS DANCING!!
wanted to look ard somemore at bugis junction but i had to meet may xy and win at city hall so didnt stay long enough to catch the results.. went to swensons for dinner followed by walking ard till chilling out at esplanade.. hahaz.. think the effect of watching SOS made me alittle TOO hyper today... hahaz.. gotta chiLl manz.. going to slEep.. gd niteZ!
dEminG
"whEre dID you abDucT her fRom?"
"i Didn'T? iT was juST voluntary ArRest!"
"cloSE eNouGh"
My mind's unweaving/ 12:11 AM
Friday, April 28, 2006
many people like to ask NSFs of today... "would you eagerly pick up arms to fight for singapore?" thinking that children today are spoilt with the feel of peace and decadence.. but everytime anyone asks me.. i'll reply without hesitation that i will... maybe becoz i've always wanted to see action in the battlefield.. or maybe coz i'm a trigger happy guy with my SAR21... but maybe i just feel that i'm in a position to make a diff.. to be able to command and fight to save the lives of our loved ones... isn't it worth it?
sadly, few people seem to share my sentiments.. esp other nsfs.. but its not like i cant agree with them.. its just that we dont feel the need to be here.. that we are just serving ns to fill the numbers.. but being an officer.. i get to see things in a bigger perspective and the more important every single one of us are for singapore...
why i'll bring this up is coz it struck me on how important everyone is... i always felt that i was important.. to myself.. to my family and frenz.. do you? and when i tell others to feel important.. they gimme that 'you gotta be nuts' kinda face..maybe i think too much lar.. hahaz.. but it aint a sin to share good things of life with everyone right??
and yes!! the week finally ended.. man.. planning is really chaotic.. and SUPER tiring.. notihng like what i did in SoA.. now at Bn level and coy level.. alot of coordination and stuff to foreplan.. but learnt alot of tactics and all from our DS.. really experienced man sharing alot of stuff.. stuff i always wanted to hear too.. hahaz.. its those kinda things that may sway me to sign on man.. hahaz..
this weekend should be quite cool.. although have an AOS test on tuesday.. tml going to bugis shop ard.. then going to meet my sotong meiz! hahaz.. long time havent seen them since india.. then sunday think going out to chill and finally monday.. 1 may.. is my primary worry.. every year on 1 may got canoe gathering at sentosa.. but this year the juniors like nv plan anything at all lei... haiz.. i hope they do plan something.. or must this old captain come out with something? hahaz...
dEminG
hanGing onTo dyINg traDitions? noPe.. its hanGinG onTo whaT onE hoLds deaR..
My mind's unweaving/ 9:39 PM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
hahaz.. the longer i stay ard the world the more i realise singapore is such a smal world.. always meeting ppl on the streets... knowing frenz that know frenz... its all such a cool thing.. no wonder my dad always meets ppl on the street.. think it'll be the same for me down the road? hahaz..
tml going to do the ind assignment for the week's work.. its amazing how much time planning can take manz... this week been quite fast and slow at the same time... just 2 more weeks! and i'll be true.. suddenly i feel weird.. how will it be when i go back to 40? will my platoon still be the same? or will they feel distant from me le?? haiZ...
dEminG
goT a hElla pRogram plannEd thiS wEekenD!! yEah!
My mind's unweaving/ 11:26 PM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
oh manz.. been doing the individual assignment parts by parts and its seriously irritating me manz... why do so much for planning of just one mission.. omg.. im going crazy... gotta go back to it!!
dEminG
My mind's unweaving/ 5:12 PM
sensitive.. i always tell people in conflicts to be sensitive to each others feelings.. be it out of respect or love.. i thought i knew how to be sensitive.. maybe....... i assumed too much... maybe it was just army.. coz being from st gabs i always had this kinda 'brother brother' feeling with my close frenz.. and often i behave in a way i dont normally show to ppl not close to me.. but it happened alittle in sch when i felt i wasn't well liked.. and i felt it even more in the army... was i wrong to assume that all guys were as tolerant of my antics like my best fren? maybe even he doesnt really like me to start with...
i really asked myself was i sensitive? if i wasn't.. why did i feel so saddened after my talk with the J1s today.. that i have not been able to do something for them... i always believed i could help others.. and i really wanted people to live their lives as beautifully as possible.. some didnt seem to absorb.. others showed interest.. but still i felt i didnt do enough.. i felt weak... useless and a let down to my teammates and direct juniors.. i felt really lousy to take up their time for a useless speech...
i really felt like shouting my heart out.. this frustration i find in the imperfect me... maybe i was too arrogant.. of how i always believed i should be myself all the time.. to learn what i want.. be who i want to be.. that i dont readily accept others thinking.. i dont have this one person to really talk to to let out my feelings.. but yet i dont have the courage to speak to my frenz.. i'm just so lost..
dEming
nonEthEless.. that small joy in me to see these pictures of smiles.. really touches me... it really does... for that im thankful..
My mind's unweaving/ 1:25 AM
Sunday, April 16, 2006
empty vessels make the most noise? quite an analogy... not really original but today i really felt like a 'vessel'... everyday i always empty out the contents when i wake up... sometimes i empty just the ugly feelings and memories and keep the good ones.. but more often than not i empty everything... i.e. (*_*) look for the whole day.. =]
most of the days i make myself targets, things, wishes to look forward to.. or some things i planned for the day before.. becoz its been almost 5 years since i ever felt like someone gave me something to look forward to.. be it surprises, meetings etc.. when was the last time you felt pleasantly surprised? when was the last time you felt touched? so long since i felt that way.. kinda miss those days..
so the vessel is filled by how i feel in the day.. things i make myself feel.. then when it comes to talking.. other people fill it up too.. be it sad.. happy.. nonsensical.. it can affect the liquid already in the vessel... like today i was totally emotionless... empty... nothing much happened.. just that just now when went for dinner with parents, inevitably the issue came to money.. though it was said like a joke..
it struck me that the $200 i give my parents barely pay for my expenses.. moreover i've already been pretty tight since last month.. and even with my new saving plan i wont even save $10,000 by the time i ord.. then its all studies.. haiz.. talking abt money really makes me feel miserable... like some people dont even give money to your parents and still seem to have so much more enjoyment.. be it clubbing, playing pool, dating etc.. even if they same job or even lower pay than me... is it worth it?
but still i drive myself onwards with small targets i set.. be it like organising a class bbq for my classmates to ALL come and just enjoy themselves... or finally treating my canoes with their long awaited treat... just seeing them happy and smiling is enough for me to feel satisfied... but like my mom said... do so much for others.. and what do you keep for yourself? is it worth it?
dEmiNG
empTy veSseLs alLOw dRops oF saDnEss to fiLl it..
My mind's unweaving/ 5:42 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
TakE thE leaD~~!!
hey pEepz!! haPpy gooD fRiday!!! went to marina square this morning with my canoe peepz.. lh, lk, pok, daren and weiliang for kbox.. first time in my life in kbox.. loLX.. i always knew i cant sing songs so i avoided them as much as possible.. but since long time no see them so just go lorz.. didnt sing much songs lest the few chinese songs i listen to like tong hua etc..
after that went back to city hall and link up with zhen hao as li hua and pok left... then we went on to marina square again to watch movie!! hEhez.. always wanted to catch a movie since india.. but now then watch.. =p was stuck between inside man and take the lead since both of them appealed to me the most.. but coz inside man lousy seats so we got take the lead.. had my first sumtous meal at carl's jr.. man.. HUGE burger.. eat until abit scared.. the onion rings were huge too! (observe picture)too bad lk gonna book in.. he just enlisted last friday.. hEhez.. kinda harsh to say i gonna ord in 6 months time.. muAHahhahaAHz..
watched take the lead.. though it felt alittle cliche.. the other guys said it was really nice.. ok lar.. the cool part is when they mix hip hop and ballroom dancing.. actually i also wanna learn ballroom dancing.. its kinda my dream to dance tango, waltz or something with my wife or gf next time.. hEhz.. =p otherwise its a usual movie telling all and all..
YOU ARE SPECIAL.. EVERYONE CAN BE WHAT THEY STRIVE TO BE!!!
thats like my life motto or something lidat lar.. hehz.. after attending the course realise my life revolves ard values just that i didnt really word it.. maybe share next time ba... one phrase that struck me when the slow dancer told the instructor
"i'm just aint made to dance...."
"do you love to dance?"
"ya"
"then you are made to dance.."
hahaz.. how true manz.. good stuff!! it got the dancing flame in me rekindled again!! hahaz.. think gonna start my dancing routines soon again.. hope to reach the level to share my love for dance with others again... last time i did i wasn't good enough to teach i realised.. so maybe next time? =] after movie met up with mandy and then we went to ben and jerry's for ice cream before we left~~~
wah just now abit drama.. after i got home.. took a bathe.. was on com then 15min later my mom got back and realised neighbours house just got vandalised again.. with paint.. last time the old neighbour owed loanshark $$ then always kana harassed.. thing was it happened just when i closed the door and barely 10min later it happened le.. went ard to check out the area see got leave any evidence.. too bad they arent that stupid.. f***ing criminals.. hate them to the core.. cant wait to get the chance to give them a taste of wrath man...
biG stuFF!
bEn anD jErry'S!!
dEminG
i'm ouTta hEre!
My mind's unweaving/ 9:31 PM
Sunday, April 09, 2006
laTest canoE gaThering!
thE huNGry ghoSts... =D~~
dEminG
My mind's unweaving/ 2:35 PM
Saturday, April 08, 2006
last thursday i suddenly got a shock when i was told that my course started today and not on 12th april.. in but 30min i packed my stuff and left for safti... the 3 of us all thought it was 12th and only found out when our manpower officer called us.. felt super gloomy and all after being put off alittle by the course cmdr and such.. but i got over it quickly.. maybe too quickly?
and so thursday and friday were the first 2 days of the course that actually focussed on understanding psychology of people or something lidat... although it was very general and all throughout, there were many times i felt it was really true to how i live my life or how i should improve my subordinates' lives...
we learnt many things like mental models, left hand columns, the power of vision, the art of cricticism and so on and so forth.. its pretty interesting for me as many of these things i have already been doing so natural in my life.. its just that it never came across my mind to structure and explain all this values i hold in life..
for example.. i'm a huge fan of photography.. i always felt taking photos at diff angles to get the right feel was a great sense of satisfaction.. and we were shown a video on how a photojournalist interprets photo taking as something that is like how we interpret life and the perspectives we see in life... the patience, the willingness to see things at all angles and all...
after these 2 days i was really quite motivated to write an article? or a book about how i see in life and all.. of coz it wouldnt be as good or professional as those renowned writers but its for myself to see once in a while to remind myself of how i live my life and to be proud of it...
its gonna be really busy once the course starts proper.. maybe i wont have the time afterall.. alot of books to study and all.. moreover i'm going to zhenhao's bdae today~~ hEhz.. been a while since i met them... and yup.. during our sharings.. many of my other members feedback to me on why i trust my friends so much when we were priortizing our lives.. when they said friends come and go... they might not appreciate you as much as you do... etc etc... i couldnt come out with a solid answer.. but i could only say its my family... and friends that make me who i am and make me whole... so frenz are as just as important as family.. dont ya agree?
dEminG
gonnA talk abT maRriage for my nExt poST! =]
My mind's unweaving/ 12:58 PM
Sunday, April 02, 2006
it bears different purpose now as before as a student or just a civilian... coz now in operational unit, its now our unit's turn to be on standby.. though its really a bothersome thing... the ultimate purpose of being amongst the first units to respond to threats its quite an honour if ya think abt it..
within a certain amount of time we've all gotta return back to camp and prepare all our equipment and all.. this period spans all the way till the end of the year or so.. thats why nowadays my hp is on loud mode.. hahaz.. in case they call me up must faster chiong back camp be it practice or the real thing... got see those words they put on tv with those codewords? next time see anything must sms me leiz.. loLx.. scared i miss it sia..
today went to visit our ancestors for qing ming.. luckily today's turnout was postphoned so could go ard in peace.. long time nv see my cousins ar.. some old le.. reaching the sensitive age of sec sch ar.. but the younger ones still like to stick onto me one.. hahaz.. jialat lar.. always like to disturb me as i disturb them one.. =\ but somehow playing ard with them makes me feel young again.. lolX!!
dEminG
bOOkiNG in~!
My mind's unweaving/ 9:45 PM
Saturday, April 01, 2006
tEstinG ouT my nEW caM on my nEw shirT~
juSt wenT to chiLl at this CAfe aT kovan laSt night~!
DEminG
gReat to mEet up again man~~
My mind's unweaving/ 9:53 AM
Boat Shoe from Timberland
Green Scarf from Hermes