Friday, March 25, 2005
yeah~~ hahaz.. 1st book out from OCS.. well.. i'm in Delta Wing.. AKA scholar wing.. DAMN!! you know scholar wing in BMT was hawk coy.. the most welfare and shiok one.. come to OCS... the scholar wing is the most screwed one.. blEahz.. so far longest admin time was 25min... wash clothes bathe and all.. manz.. very little free time.. the moment finish one activity, change attire.. next activity... then at night they check one.. sianz.. lights out at 2215, reverie 0515... so early lorz... sobZ...
but ocs is nice too.. the people there are generally more proactive and leading, except for some whom i suspect got into OCS just coz they signed on.. some i even overheard were plotting how to wayang.. wtf.. my instructors are all full lieutenants and captains.. everywhere go must salute.. hahaz.. majors colonels all ard the place.. but my instructors are strict but also likes to chat with us... keeping our morale high.. and thats what i call leadership.. can see the diff between NSF and regular instructors.. the food is from SFI, which is sooooo much better than BMT.. got hot chocolate teh tarik dispensors for mornings manz! hahaz.. damn nice..
we got our first white line le marking as officer cadets and lanyard which serves no purpose actually.. just look nice nia.. blEahz... overall pt isnt too tough at the moment.. just intensive.. after IPPT have runs and all.. our auditorium must climb like 5-6 storeys upwards from our wing line.. then we normally double from point to point... making marching so much enjoyable... =} delta think is more intensive than other wings.. but as the instructors said.. dont care what others do... coz we are gonna be the best~~ hahaz.. love to follow that lar.. but also less enjoyment.. we were last to book out at near 10pm last night and booking in at 830 later.. sigh.. take cab and train back already 11.30pm last night.. its damn far lorz!! if only got hostel there.. hahaz... nice to hear from other guys about their NS.. kkz lar.. gotta run le.. byEz~! bE back in 2 wEeks timE!
officer cadet Lee
leaDing wiTh digniTy anD pRide!
My mind's unweaving/ 3:50 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2005
man today been hell of a hectic one.. got lots to say.. but gotta sleep le.. gonna wake up in 4hours time to report to camp.. crazy people.. report at 0700 at OCS.. gawd.. i feel really sad to leave civilian life and go back to the being scolded.. rushed life again.. haiz.. heard OCS first few weeks will be given some immunity lanyard that you wont get punished... after that its turn outs and losta crap... politics and all... make it seem such a scary place.. so much things they were really vague in instructions... they aren't that well organized after all too... hahaz..
but as my sergeant said.. look for the light at the end of the tunnel... after 3 weeks confinement should have 5 1/2 day weeks.. book outs.. good friday... the sword... the Commissioning... hahaz.. cant wait.. but then i remember something about OCS... OCS ball.. haiz.. gotta ask for a date.. hahaz.. hope they forget to have it for my batch... soBZ... kkz lar.. gotta go.. see you guys maybe this friday?? or 3 weeks later~~ take care one and all!!
oCT lEe dEminG
295 days oF oCS? = no. oF StaiRs oF SaFti toWeR
My mind's unweaving/ 10:59 PM
at the chalet i talked to some of my relatives.. feel how much we've changed.. but they seemed really happy even though their lives aren't what people desire to be like.. they still lived for the moment.. and that was really a nice feeling.. then my mom strike me when she said that i was the first in my entire family; both father and mother side, to be in a JC.. the first to apply for a local uni.. and the first in OCS... it strike me that they look up on me and have the feeling of expectation from me.. but also becoz many things are the first for me... there isnt really anyone that i can ask and consult for help... i wonder if i could be fit to be that role model for my younger cousins to learn from... i wonder....
tml i'm going down to kallang to support my juniors in their finals.. also meeting up with my batch canoeists to have a nice meal and chat.. b4 i go back.. pack up and sleep early to awaken to my first day.. as an OCT... an officer cadet... i know there is much for me to develop.. fitness wise.. but i'm confident my leadership experience will prevail.. gonna meet up with wee xiong daniel and jeremy to go oCS... in my class only caleb was in OCS too.. weixiong fabian kiat loong alvin going to sispec.. guess the rest are going to unit.. wonder who i'll meet in OCS.. hope my buddy will enjoy himself in siSpec.. all the way chai!! hahaz.. and also wonder who's gonna be my roommate cum buddy.. (btw OCS is 2men bunk) hope he's someone nice.. hEhz.. =]
dEMinG
so i Go agaIn.. alOnE with nO onE wavinG gooDbye wiTh paRt oF mE with hEr..
My mind's unweaving/ 1:27 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
yEAH~~ i goT into Officer Cadet School~~ (OCS!!) hahaz.. kinda happy.. thought i couldnt get in at first.. coz i was worried that my sit test wasnt too well assessed.. becoz i adopted a "good follower.. good leader" so i lead only once... followed for the other missions... didnt talk too much but more work when following.. but controlling men when a leader.. hahaz.. lucky the assessor was quite sharp.. hEhz.. so i'm reporting on monday 0700 at SAFTI MI.. manz.. damn far lar!! hahaz..
later on went for swim at hougang swimming complex with hao yi and pok.. met cliburn there too.. was swimming for fun and tanning while chatting abt stuff.. later went on home played xbox b4 going to raffles place to meet wailing... haiz... alot of troubles now lar... alot of worries.. to be honest i was totally unprepared for it to turn out lidat.. i thought it was just some motivation talk.. didnt thought it'll turn out this way... and being the family orientated boy i couldn't hide it from my parents... but i also dont want them to go crazy or anything now.. now feel very guilty... aRghZ.. i decided to do so becoz i trusted wailing and her trust of the organization... honestly i dont trust it.. it is being so general and they base their operations on short term goals.. cant shake off this feeling that it has a motive behind all this...
sadly my mom had to rub in teaching me how to be selfish.. i cant believe it.. but its not without reason.. she explained how our family suffered before.. when we were kind.. and only betrayed and cheated in the end... but still.. deep down i wanted to tell her off... how can i be selfish... sure its the failsafe way to protect your own finiancial health.. but if everyone is told to be selfish.. what would this world be like.. i know and expect the world out there is evil and unforgiving.. i just dont like the feeling of how it affects down to my family as well.. i just pray that i do not tangle myself or my parents into something bad.. hopefully i can hide it... but i feel so messed up now... aRGH!!!! goD.. pls... if anything craps up... all i hope is my parents wont be affected.. pls...
dEminG
i lOve my faMily so muCh i canT baRe to huRt oR woRry them.. iT only huRts me thouSandfoLD... aRGH!!
My mind's unweaving/ 12:51 AM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
slacked at home for most of the day.. played XboX HalO 2 anD mEchaSsault 2.. also sent in my application form for NUS.. my choices went 1:Fac of Science.. 2:Bioengineering 3:pharmacy 4:Fac of Arts and Social Sciences.. hopefully i'll get into science... the rest are ranked to preference yuPz.. =] feel kinda excited that soon i can be a NUS undergrad if my application goes thru~~ its like my dream since primary sch to get into NUS.. that i always told myself no matter which sec sch or JC i go... as long as i go NUS its what matters.. cant waiT!!
later on i went to rivervale mall to return the dvds i borrowed from video ezy.. tears of the sun and king arthur were average movies.. and the full metal jacket i borrowed was really old school feeling and kinda sucky.. but the story's kinda gruesome and poorly coordinated.. dunnoe why 3SG fadhil likes it so much.. hahaz.. then i went to tamp mall to meet up with weiliang li hua and monica... queued up for long john's silver coz i had the craving for its fries.. really nice stuff.. but the cashier was so damn slow i was on the verge of blowing up.. bLEahz...
we watched the movie Robots.. at first glimsp i thought it might just be a boring show with not too outstanding cast and normal animation.. but manz.. it turned out really nice.. hahaz.. although parts made me went "what the hell..." but its just how they intro the world to viewers eh? the romance part was alittle underdeveloped.. but it has its share of touchy and mostly funny parts.. lOLx.. if you guys havent watch it.. go catch it.. hahaz.. SPOILER ALERT: that britney spears part was DAMN funny lar.. havent laughed so hard in cinema for so long.. hahaz.. i give it 4.5/5 yEah???
tml gonna get my posting results le.. feeling kinda excited... its almost likE a level's.. that you know you can only make it to like SISPEC but also hoping can get into OCS... hahaz.. scully get into men... blEahz... kkz lar... last few days of freedom.. whether i'll be gazing at the stars from Jurong Area or back to Pulau Tekong.. i'll only know tml yeah?? take caRe~!
dEminG
oR haS iT alReady bEgun?
My mind's unweaving/ 10:40 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
hahaz.. been listening to linkin park.. cooL stufF.. today went to kallang to paddle coz i just paid the $50 to sign up with alumni.. wanted to paddle alittle before booking in again soon.. sadly it turn out to be a a training of lament.. haiz.. i've become really weak... strokes gone again... everything seems forgotten.. i felt really out when i think of how many things i've forgotten to do (amuse, joke, speak lightheartedly..) and how many things i was confident of before that i fail in now...
i feel its getting difficult to communicate properly with others... and becoming more lonesome recently... but i've been going out often leiz... still i feel really bored and isolated.. haiz.. this feeling sux... its like floating ard.. like how my sergeant says.. just drifting along with time meaninglessly.. it sux to feel so useless... hope to find new meaning soon...
will be starting to train up physically from henceforth... i also wanna start revising my A level subjects like chem bio and GP.. so that i can help my meiz and any junior so that they may do even better than i do... just hope i wont fail myself again...
got losta outings suddenly tml... my sec school classmates having a gathering.. my platoon's section 3 going to sentosa tml and asked my section along.. outing with my canoeist friends... just when i just set my mind to train.. but i'll stick to the plan i thought of before hand.. sorry dudes.. really want to meet up with my army and old classmates too.. eitherways i'll just be a bore anyways.. my presence doesnt really matter doesnt it...
dEminG
i can'T fEel yoU therE~
My mind's unweaving/ 9:48 PM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
ok lar.. not so soon.. but im pretty surprised myself... my posts has been of 2 days 2 days... now its already approaching posting day.. hahaz.. fast eh... yesterday i went to my buddy chai's place for a section BBQ.. only 9 came outta 13 coz wilson and jeremy had 24km.. poor legs.. alwyn was sick... and wee xiong had some odac camp A.K.A adventure with shuhui.. loLx.. the bbQ was pretty short but we had hella time gossiping.. hahaz... seems like jaguar coy changed alot le... hopE our instructors are cool as ever~ hahaz..
but ar.. end up everyone had something.. somemore i brought my xbox console there.. then was pretty late.. so i stayed on with the plan despite being the only one ard to stay over at chai's place.. i played co-op with chai all the way till 3am.. lOLx.. tiReD!! explored his com alittle then tucked in.. exactly 7hours of sleep.. loLx.. disciplined manz.. hahaz.. played alittle more b4 he left for lan with his classmates while i went home then left for lan with MY classmates.. lOLX... ice iCe bAby~~~ >.<
went to SR Lan shoP with ys alvin and wx playing CoD CS and ZeRo houR... left earlier to take a bus to yishun... walking to the bus stop went past SRJC.. fond memories again.. miss the times i had to walk to school down the same pavement i know so well.. the backdoor to where i conducted my swimming lessons... the void deck where we practiced our dance item for chinese new year.. hahaz.. i really miss JC manz.. hope uni would be lidat or better~~ haiz... nS ar NS... CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY~!?~!? CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY?? i guEss not...
took 965 all the way to yishun where i walked ard before meeting my mei at the mRt.. it was her bdae yesterday and i bought her an OP polo tee... not easy buying gal's clothes leiz.. OP not so bad.. hahaz.. think i said abt my encounter at forever21 the other time.. =p had dinner with her at northpoint foodcourt and chatted about jC.. army.. etc etc.. then this guy came and join us while we were chatting.. he suddenly cut in when i was sharing some GP tips with xue ying.. introduced himself as a diplomat from sri lanka who had a degree in philosophy!! (and i was talking "the other and the self").. lOlx.. felt awkward.. but he did chat with us alittle.. loLx.. he even thought we were attached.. =/ somemore said i was a brillant fella.. philosophy huhz.. maybe i'll consider minor it in uni... cooL stuFf.. hEhz..
walked alittle then walked her back b4 taking 965 back home.. some things came to my mind.. (as per any long bus rides) i always didnt like myself being so boring.. though we havent met so long.. i still find hard to communicate naturally.. =\ still bad at talking with gals.. loLx.. unlike my close bros who can talk abt anything under the sun.. i find myself really dulL and boring when talking to gals.. manZ.. the cheery side of me back from scouts seemed to have died out in JC and army.. i don't know.. but am i trying to act cool.. not that i'm conciously doing it.. but i think i'm getting too serious to point of being boring.. do you guys think so?? cant say its good.. cant say its bad... haiz.. just a passing thought aye?
2 more days to posting results~~ gotta start packing up again.. tml gonna run then go canoeing.. gotta get my body back on track manz.. this block leave feels kinda long.. spent really too much.. but also dont feel like going back to army.. now that i got my A's and my future finally seems so close to grasp.. then NS like really blocked it all.. haiz.. not that i cant take it ba.. but the more i think of it.. the more i think NS is a waste of time.. but well.. no choice lar har? as they say "too bad.. suck thumb~" chEerioS
dEminG
haVe i foRgoTten hoW to makE pEOplE hAPpy?? why aM i so dEad...
My mind's unweaving/ 11:43 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
hmmz.. 2 days nv blog already?? im losing count~~ hahaz.. yesterday went NUS open house with fabby jk charlyn candice kiat loong and ys.. went there primarily for the FoS talks namely life sciences and pharmacy tours... pharmacy turned out to be too chem for my taste.. so it seems life science is my 1st choice.. ran into familar faces like samuel, lay see, shuhui, evelyn, ruishan, zhihao, angela etc etc... saw quite a few chio bus there too.. loLx.. army too long ar... sorry lar~~ somemore there was a gal with a hot bod and cute face~~ mANz~~ why army take 2 years of our lives away?? loLx =p j/k j/k...
but after the open house i kept thinking how i'm gonna go on.. the open house made me feel so deprived of the future i wish to grasp becoz of the army.. i so wanted to go into university to study.. cant stand the fact of ppl that seems so smart and knowledgeable while i feel that i have forgotten all i've learnt in JC.. i felt sour of what we guys have to go thru.. spending 2 years in the army... while gals our age can study and enjoy campus life... haiz... i also had doubts in my heart of whether i can make it to life sciences in the first place not.. thankz to some seniors like pi kuang whom i messaged who shed some light helped me feel better and more confident...
more or less i decided to choose to take life science in NUS as first choice.. followed by bioengineering.. not too sure what to put as 3rd and 4th yet... hopefully i'll get into life sciences.. i kinda thought of what i wanna do in the future.. after getting my degree i'll try to start off as a reasearcher in the NUS campus.. then progress to the outside world... if not i would consider being a bio teacher.. if all goes well and money allows.. i'll try to further my studies to something related to writing like journalism if theres such a course overseas.. and come back to write bio books or articles.. or even teach as GP tutor.. hahaz...
but all this things i guess i have to put on hold till after army... hope all goes right... shalt tag too long like the previous days... gtg.. byEz
dEming
thiS fEeling of lonEliNEss.. whY doEs it stiLl hiT mE noW... caN i nv foRget the lOve i choSe to forget? haiZ...
My mind's unweaving/ 9:40 PM
Friday, March 11, 2005
eh.. what did i do yesterday ar... sh*t... let me think.. oh yah! i woke up at like 3pm isit? hahaz... clubbing isnt really good for the body yah?? hahaz.. so kinda lost my sense of time.. pardon me.. =X after that met wx online and decided to join him to the IT show at suntec... went to Hougang mall shop alittle b4 settle off for suntec... been a LONG time since i went there.. hahaz.. looked ard the exhibits and finally bought myself an IPod Mini! hahaz.. always wanted to buy myself a music player.. then also to reward my POP and promotion to private! hahaz.. thought coz pay this month is $450 so can afford.. but kana con leiz.. month of march they still pay recruit pay.. tmD...
actually wanted go orchard kinokuniya to buy comic.. but after buying my IPod it was like 9.30pm?? argh... but nvm lar.. had dinner with wx and alvin.. alvin was alittle love sick from a deja vour X4 encounter with some chio gal.. hahaz.. so abit off ar? hahaz.. shy shy still wanna rub in my encounter with that waitress back then.. however so i can't remember how she looks like anymore le.. hahaz.. too bad~~ went home happily uploading songs to my IPod mini.. quite qim at first.. the songs seemingly went on automatically.. blurred the sh*t outta me.. also talked to li hua on the phone abt the uni thing.. true lar.. even i agree what people say abt me not being able to talk on the phone.. hahaz.. thats why my phone bill so low mahZ? hehZ.. also had a short chat with hn who wasnt feeling too well... hope she feels better today.. A level's suck... haiz.. the harbinger of misery..
despite the late night sleep again.. i only had 8 hours of sleep! (compared to 11 hours the day before.. heHZ)woke up findled with my Ipod again then set off to meet the section guys for lunch at White Sands.. the heritage tour was ok lar.. wasnt fantastically boring... the tour guide had a thick indian accent that i couldnt pick up some words.. hahaz.. went to changi beach.. to see 1 stone plaque.. like duh? then went to changi chapel... amazing as it may.. thats my first time there... cooL~! later went to the johore battery and then selarang barracks which were less interesting.. basically its just the changi area lar.. can see the tour guide was trying hard le.. so i was pretty turn off by how some guys were so rude and showing attitude.. also realised how vain some of my platoon mates ar.. loLx.. shades and earrings.. yuCks.. vainpots~~ hahaz.. but i was also thankful for the chance for us to meet up again ya? =]
later took train with chai, ys, hui teng and yuan chuan.. each to their own destination.. ys was happily fiddling with my ipod i cant help but feeling edgy... cant blame me lar.. 1 months pay leiz.. if scratch i sure cry one.. hahaz... =p i dropped off at orchard and did my desire for town some justice.. hahaz.. went to wisma at first to flash and splash looking for a pouch for my IPod.. but dont haf.. so went to taka this time to kinokuniya for comics.. no new ones.. bLEahz! went over to lucky plaza kia kia.. nothing! then went to heeren.. thought sure have the pouch.. ALSO DONT HAVE! wah du lan.. then lucky on my way down noticed wallet shop.. and finally found one from billabong... hahaz.. but $10.50 leiz.. kAoZ! Ex sia.. but dont care lar.. nice can le.. hahaz..
later on my way out i remembered that i had to look for a prezzie~~ hahaz... long time nv buy present for gal.. so was searching my rusty memory bank of whats suitable.. was thinking of the bag i bought for my mom that she really liked and was thinking of going to Xcessories to buy another nice one at bishan.. then i saw shuming nigel and shimin at NYDC where we had a little chat.. coincidentally shimin just bought a bag from Xcessories too and its from paragon where rs just so happen to work there now.. lOLx.. now i kinda understand how my dad feels everytime he meets a fren along the streets.. i met nigel Lauw.. a hunky and super friendly guy from Pre-U SEminar at the IT show the other day... saw some SRJCians from my batch on the bus back from the tour today.. met Meng Tiak from St Gabs at Kinokuniya.. met Shuming and co at NYDC.. then also learn Rs was at paRagon.. hahaz.. its this kinda warm feeling to see people you know ard instead of the usual monotonous and cold crowd.. talk abt destiny eh?
anyways in the end after msg-ing some gals i knew for advice.. i thought of buying a top for her.. but then when i went forever21.. other than the staff.. i was the only guy there with women everywhere.. loLx.. it felt super weird looking at the tops on display.. hahaz.. sh*T! besides there wasnt one that really caught my eye.. or i must say my eye not trained for female clothings.. hahaz.. help! i need professional advice on picking clothes for gals manz... any reliable tutors out there? >.< anyways i decided to try looking tml again.. so i got home and searched thru my uni stuff and somewhat thinking of what to apply and what to ask tml at the open house.. hope it'll be fun! hEHz..
P.S:tO my juniORs~~ rElax yupz!! SDBA is a RaCe thaT you caN win in!! haVe faITh in youRself as i haVe faiTh in alL oF you~~ juST puT in youR best witH no rEgRets.. bEcoz its onlY thE bEginniNG oF what wiLl tRuly ShapE youR lifE~!! reSt weLL.. StaY foCuSsed.. anD i'lL bE doWN on sunDay to SUppoRt SRJC CanoEinG TeAM!! aLl thE besT!!
dEminG
i lOVe my iPoD!!
My mind's unweaving/ 10:03 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2005
oh man.. it feels so good to do nothing at all!! hahaz.. woke up at 10 actually... watched gundam seed destiny and laughed over school rumble.. had magi for lunch (damn it tastes good) and wanted to play CoD but my bro uninstall le.. went back to sleep till 5pm... got ready to go out to meet weiliang and co for dinner coz daren enlisting on friday 11 march.. hahaz.. recruit KonG!
i met alvin lim at dhoby ghaut mrt interchange on my way and noticed his hair was really long le.. kaoz.. i still short hair like chao recruit leiz.. bleahz.. went wisma jalan jalan alittle.. feels great to shop yeah?? later met mon, weiliang, daren, hao yi, marcus, liang kiat, li hua and zhen hao for dinner at nydc... manz... ice cream + brownie.. i'm melting!!!
hahaz.. sadly after dinner it was 10 already.. so didnt get to shop as i hoped.. we went to zouk to club excluding zhen hao lk and li hua... wasted... first time there yeah.. sua gu right?? hahaz.. but was surprised that it was actually quite close to my gramps old house.. loLx.. great world there.. at first was pretty boring.. got the drinks included in the $20 entry.. the bouncer see me short ar.. but see my hair + 11B so didnt really question and even asked me about army.. loLx... went over to zouk first.. drank alittle and listened to some oldies.. but as i told fabby as long as its music i feel really happy to just hear it.. also continued to chat with the guys about life..
later on we went to phuture.. oh man.. it was sooooooo crowded.. practically sandwiched.. but then i wasnt too high yet.. hahaz.. danced alittle but was pretty sian coz of the crampness.. i always believed that one can only dance if there's space yeah?? went back to zouk after some fries and had crazy fun with weiliang and mon over old songs... though it was mambo night.. it was pretty cool too!! though its harder to dance to my kinda beat.. the songs were like "doing that thing you do" "mickey" "i love you baby~ (heineken)" and all those songs you just know the lyrics without memory and sing it out loud.. plus mix of nice songs like LINKIN PARK!! whoO!! hahaz.. pok joined us too and it really worked me up...
but i saw pok was getting sian.. so i suggested going phuture with him.. hahaz... manz it was even more crowded.. but we squeezed all the way in... at first was behind a group of indian fellas.. then we shifted to a group of dancing gals.. lolx.. think pok too high ar.. keep pushing me towards the dancing gals.. well... contact is unavoidable lar huhz.. but i really didnt wanna purposely go and squeeze intentionally... but pok did have fun.. loLX!! given those kinda cramp quaters.. i kinda pity the gals too.. no escape... =\ but the music was sweeeeeet during the last 20min... so i kinda let my "hair" down.. hahaz.. dance like siao~~
strangely i didnt sweat a drop.. weird eh.. maybe coz army trained le.. or the air con too cold... we left and saw kian zi, manda, audrey and frenz too... nice to see them again too yup.. hahaz.. been ages since last saw them.. guess what lar.. i saw 3SG matthew too lar.. my section commander.. loLX!! but he ORD le leiz... i cerebrate POP he cerebrate ORD.. whats this~?!~? hahaz.. got some army guys there too.. some guys from ninja talked with me lar.. but maybe coz drink too much were going like "jaguar sux!!".. of coz i didnt pursue lar.. coz i know who's the champions... who will always be the ones!! hahaz..
song manz.. though its like 45min to my usual reverie timing.. still quite lively.. hahaz.. but costly lar huhz.. wanna save up tml.. stuck between going town to shop and get stuff alone? or with some company i hope? but i also wanna train leiz.. they say my shoulders got more narrow and not so muscular le.. but also lost weight.. hahazx.. the guys thought i look better.. loLx.. but some felt i am so diff.. =/ cant blame mah.. army no time train arms and torso lei.. so maybe doing weights tml too.. cannot slack too much lar.. or be like some of them who got FAT lar.. aiyoz.. work too much le.. nv train... gals esp.. hahaz.. better watch what you eat wor.. kkz.. the bed reckons.. gooD niTE!!
dEminG
shoulD i cluB agaIN neXt weD?? hMMz..
My mind's unweaving/ 4:35 AM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
hahaz.. yEah!! i've poP-ed... and it mean Pass Out Parade (POP) yEaH? which means i ended BMT!! hahaz.. no more chao recruit.. im officially private Lee Deming... erhmm.. >.< 2 months passed lidat le... no matter how gabriel's gonna b*tch.. i write my blog the way i like it ok?? hahaz.. not happy go carry on 20 counts of chicken backside!!
well as a whole BMT has been more of an obstacle crossed.. there are things to hate and love... one thing i realised about army is that physical fitness and combat fitness dont always overlap.. for guys enlisting soon.. do train up by carrying loads and running... its alot diff wor... communal living and all were fine with me coz i've been thru them in sec school already...
of coz whats the army without people.. mainly my company are all A lvl students but they still have myriad personalities... my section mates were really cool with me... lame, crappy, happy and enthu and all... theres no way i can fault my section manz!! hahaz.. but there are also ppl who dont really earn my respect.. there are bound to be lazy people.. who refuse to hurry up and let others do the job when volunteers are needed...honestly speaking i was affected too... i used to volunteer consistently until i realised that some guys just keep waiting for others to work for them.. like filling their bottles.. till i got so sick of their attitude i myself refused to fill their bottles...
when i think back there are mistakes i would rather not do.. when someone becomes selfish.. i have second thoughts.. and in the end i affect others as well.. sometimes i'm really enthusiastic.. sometimes i rather keep to myself and rest... i learn that when im tired i tend to be really solemn than my usual talkative self.. maybe my relationships with others have to be improve on that aspect yeah?? but i kinda enjoy the friendliness of others.. there are people in the platoon i hardly talk to who encourage me, praise me, joke with me at times i least expect..like after the 24km.. coz i was really pushing myself mentally i was surprised when one of my platoon mates pat my back and said he saw me pushing throughout.. its the kind of feeling i havent got for a long time.. maybe becoz ppl always think i can do it... but it nv hurts to actually see that friends really observe and look out for you eh??
physically about army.. legs are really important.. my feet is in really bad form... i guess if i put my legs on a pic... it can make it for the most horrible photo vote le.. loLx.. blisters.. skin tears...cracked skin.. i actually had to go to the medical centre once for a really bad case of blisters after 16km till it looked like foot rot.. got a resting period till the day b4 24km.. thankz to advice it wasnt as bad in terms of blister.. but the impact and continuous walking with our FULL BATTLE ORDER really took its toll on my leg.. kinda limping ard now... hope can recover soon during this block leave...
well... my posting will only be out like 2 weeks later.. so OCS, SISPEC or UNIT will have to wait yeah.. but i kinda suspect im going for SISPEC given the advice our instructors been giving me... during this block leave i would wanna recover fully for my foot and train up my running b4 i go on to my next unit... dont wanna let myself down again... but also gotta enjoy right?? gonna go out and havoc with my classmates, bunk mates, canoe mates.. man i cant wait!!! bloCk lEaVe hEre i comE!!
PrIVatE LeE dEminG
JaGuar compAny lEadErship BMT 38th baTch graduAteE
My mind's unweaving/ 9:45 PM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
so another step in life is over... just booked out yesterday morning went back to rest b4 going to school at about 1pm... went to the canteen to eat lunch whilst drawing looks from the J2s this year.. maybe its the hair... maybe its my cv clothes.. maybe its just me.. >.< anyways i had the opportunity to have a talk with mr tan th, mr philip tan, mr ou and miss riveria... some of them said i did well too.. so i cant help but feel excited and less worried... even my mom said that she knew my results even b4 the results were released.. hahaz... good to know people from MOE huhz? =
but i was left in the blue lar... congrats to luke weixiong alvin and jun kok... well done lar.. perfect scores and straight As... damn smart.. honestly when mrs kok went thru the names of 60 pts i was discouraged coz i didnt make it on it... even the cohort as a whole did worst than the year b4... was getting really edgy when i got my results
Maths - C
Physics - C
Chemistry - B
Biology - A
GP - A2
when i got my slip i was hit with a mix of emotions.. i was happy to see my bio and gp score.. when i tried to digest it.. i felt dissapointed with my maths.. my physics and chemistry was expected... but i couldnt smile nor cry.. i was just stoned... my hoped score would have been ABBC... so did many people.. unlike o lvls where ppl jumped in joy (myself included) we didnt know to laugh or cry... becoz even with this score.. i am not sure if i can make it to the course i wish to pursue...
fabby got the score i want leiz.. loLx.. but he same grade, EXACT same grades as hua xiang.. some other guys got average scores and were lost in thought as of what to do ... wei lun got ABC too i think.. the other canoeists didnt really get as well as they hoped.. felt sad to see them confused and all.. i wasnt in a very good state myself so i couldnt really help them out.. haiz..
but after everything i went out with my classmates to BK and chat.. and slowly i became more myself as i accepted the results as they were and carry on with life.. we later went for LAN..lOlx.. damn i miss computer games.. got raped in C&C generals.. sobZ.. my parents told me to enjoy myself with my frenz instead of the appointment with them for dinner.. so we went to mac at night and met benji there.. loLx.. funny hairstyle.. remind me of the 'if you're happy and you know it clap your hair' from gatsby.. hahaz... mohawk!!
the only sad part is tat im booking in later at 5.40pm... haiz... havent even got time to decide on my course.. my clothes arent really dry.. im going to town later to meet my section mates to get stuff for our instructors.. but then alot of things undone.. then some guys dont wanna go... haiz... abit no mood to book in... but on the other hand.. im having my 24km route march tml then its just left with my passing out parade.. then im a private!! hahaz.. no more recruit lee.. hehz.. after tuesday's parade we have about 1 and a half weeks of block leave... so i really look forward to catching up with all my frenz then~~ cant wait manz!! take care all!!
dEminG
aRmy liFe... love iT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ not!
My mind's unweaving/ 10:04 AM
Boat Shoe from Timberland
Green Scarf from Hermes