Saturday, November 27, 2004
woOhoO!! daY onE after A lEvelS... shioK ar!! hahaz.. met weiliang this morning at hougang stadium for a run... 2.4km... in 12.45min.. wah nice one lar.. "IMPROVE" by 2 min sia... sia lah... but still faster than weiliang who was boasting to me "THIS IS THE KINDA SPEED YOU RUN AR!!" on the first round.. aRhahahahaha... but today pissed off sia.. that stupid li hua lar.. ask me give her morning call.. called her THRICE all 3 times phone not on... then i left a voice message once.. somemore sms-ed her... i was worried her hp might be something wrong.. so i went to compass point to wait for her for 30min... then she didnt respond nor come.. then i went ahead le... to think she has the cheek to scold me for not calling her up... say my fault somemore... somehow i can understand how lk can be so pissed with her... its like she's so used to being late she isn't sensitive to how others feel le... in conclusion... she's a *****!!! tmD...
anyways.. coz of the "nice" weather.. we went gymming first.. hahaz.. shit lor.. my EVERYTHING deprove... free weights... pull ups.... bench press... haiz.. but still hate it when ppl stare at me when i do my free weights.. like the kinda "wah so small can do those kinda weights" kinda stare.. tmd.. small cannot be fit ar?? f oFf lar!! but anyways the feeling of super tight muscles and hard metal hands gave me the feel again of trainig... i'm gonna train EVERYDAY!! hEheheZ.... then after gym it was still drizzling.. so we called off the swim aka TAN... then as we were eating.. i saw this ger that was looking in my direction.. at first i saw her like quite familar.. then dismissed that she resembled one of my J1 juniors.. then when our eyes met again.. i felt like i ever met and talked to her b4.. but i can't recall.. she also seemed to have the same sentiments.. but then i left lar.. hahaz... die lar.. how can i forget such a cute gal.. >.<
i went back... played halo two on live.. hEhz.. cooL stuFf.. that slept b4 leaving for the lan shop outside sch... tmD.. ALL late.. lOlx.. first one see hx.. then later alvin and wx came with donghai.. then AMOS was the latest.. b*stard.. somemore he nearest to the shop one leiz.. d*ck... make us wait 30min.. then we went in play battlefield.. hAhaz.. damn fun.. laught until siao.. then that ccB amos anyhow blow on the tank i and donghai were in.. tmD.. lOlx.. reVenge!! i'LL get my revenGe.. hahaz.. long time nv got this lan-ing feeLing with NEGATIVE sTrEss sia.. sonG!! then we left.. earger for the chalet to begin~~
oh yeah.. tml is the dAY!! hEhez.. sentosa chalet!! been raining since yesterday after our last paper.. so hope wont rain for the next 3 days.. *PRAYS PRAYS* gonna bring my honkey big radio along and games and all i planned for the class.. hehEz.. so excited... alittle dissapointed honestly though... first day at first only 12 ppl ard.. end up minus here minus there coz the gers some got wedding.. some got bdae.. then dh wx and alvin wanna go sintex first... haiz.. spoiled my plans for the first day.. but i still got great plans for sunday when our whole class gathers!! yeAhs!! hEhez.. hoPE it turns out SUPER fun.. hahaZ... i just hope they dont expect me to plan everything for them.. i already did the bookings... the games and all.. the program i also roughly thought of it.. i'm just worried they complain program boring or response to game not good.. then i will probably be damn pissed lar... but since its gonna be our last.. i'm gonna make it good!! hEheZ...
so i'll be off for 3 days.. wont be blogging yea.. dont miss me leiz.. can always drop me a good night message or anything as long as i'm not drunk.. hEhez... exams over le!! damn song!! i walk home was also skipping all the way~~ hAhahaz.. damn happy... all that lacks is my heart yepz.. somehow that crush i always wanted to wait for completely broke off communications with me... that my feelings have really faded thus far... haiz... guess i'll just go thru army a lonely boy.. hEhez... takE caRe pPL~~!! will bring back some sentosa sand for you guys~~ (wINKz)
dEMinG
HaSta lA vISta bAby!!
My mind's unweaving/ 1:46 AM
Thursday, November 25, 2004
oh yesh.. the a levels.. is HISTORY!!! woohoo~~ bio P1 was a pushover.. i finished the paper in 36.2min... the first ever a lvl paper i had enough time to go thru 2 and a half times to check!! hahaz.. after that wanna swim but ys and dong nv bring.. so just went study and kovan... slept in sch canteen... took the paper.. unexpected lar.. think my qns on the gamma ray one might be wrong.. but aiya... less than 8% nia... what sia...
the moment the paper ended.. it rained CATS and DOGS... its almost like you can hear them falling onto the ground... manz... purposely one sia... just now so sunny.. then after physics rain like siao... end up we end up having the camp meeting in school canteen.. hahaz.. so long nv really sit down together with my dear teammates.. it feels like there was no break in between the last time we met.. we were still as warm.. lame.. fun... crazy to be with... hahaz... i must say they are really the greatest mix of ppl to be with.. hahaz.. but when its comes down to planning ar.. loLx.. it can get OVERcrazy.. lolX.. had to put some radical thinkers such as weilun on curfew.. hahaz... but really cracked up and laughed heartily throughout the time...
monica, weiliang, darren, li hua and pi kuang went to kovan to eat dinner.. at first wanna go home.. then li hua like 'fa feng' hahaz... convinced me and hao yi to tag along too... hahaz.... later went ard shopping.. felt really excited and light-headed coz i have finally zero burden in my head.. no studies.. no planning... no nothing.. except maybe thoughts abt the chalet.. both excitement and worries... i was basically on cloud nine... hahaz.. realised the gers like have 4-5 months free from now on... so was wondering what they'll do.. hahaz... so envious.. li hua wanna waste time watching korean dramas.. what "qin di" hahaz.. some wanna shop.. then wanna find job too.... manz...
damnz.. just now was waiting for 119 with lh.. then wait so long nv come.. lucky she went to check and realized there's no more 119.. loLx.. end up take train... yue lai it just terminated 2 days ago.. and some new service replaced it... hmmmz... anyways.. tml can start shedding those kilos i added... shocked when i weighed myself today.. hahaz.. damn sad... must train up... tml whole day training... tommorrow... is TRAINING DAY!!!
deminG
caN you guEss how muCh weiGht i puT duE to eXamS??
My mind's unweaving/ 8:49 PM
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
SUX! hmmz.. actually i didn't know how i should feel after the paper... as usual my mind wasn't focussed again... felt like there was some kinda block... might be becoz of last night... i just couldnt sleep and end up rolling ard my bed till 3am lidat... haiz... made some mistakes over things i thought i knew well... looks like a B would be hard for physics...
but well.. after the paper i was really tired and didn't have the mood to chit chat.. so i left quickly... went home changed into my singlet and ran the treadmill.. been MONTHS since i last used it... and my stamina really hit rock bottom.. was watching evangelion as i ran... coOL stuFf... runnning and watching tv.. hahaz...
after that i slept for about 4 hours b4 waking up to halo 2.. hahaz.. tried campaign on my own... was tougher than co-op but my pro level improving le.. hehEz.. soon i'll unleash myself upon the online world.. muhAhahhaaaz... that aside.. tml have 2 papers.. bio P1 and physics P5... feels good that after tml i can finally get rid of all those notes in my room.. such an eyesore... then its all training... playing... dancing.... canoeing... arh~~ i can't wait~!
dEminG
lAlalalalalalalall eLmo'S sonG~~
My mind's unweaving/ 8:43 PM
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
2 more days.. freedom..... lose weight.... get tan... stinge..... she reminds me of someone..... if only all gers were so friendly..... 2 more days... no more use for uniform? or keep for next year..... 2 more days....
dEminG
sonG~
My mind's unweaving/ 7:25 PM
Monday, November 22, 2004
gotta love it manz.. reproduction... sexual.. asexual.. hormones... plants.. animals.... i really enjoy studying bio option~~ heHEz.. its growth and reproduction yepz in case the title is misleading to those with an perverse direction of thinking.. hehz..
today woke up and started jotting down all the previous years from tys the essay qns that came out for bio option... i saw that there was never a repeat of same kinda question in a subsequent paper.. and thankz to lihua i managed to make a comprehensive analysis of what might come out.. from my list it was "germination, pollination, growth, male and female human organs..." so i left for sch and met ys and evelyn there.. i went thru the blue book the 3rd time and reenforced those areas i spotted... got abit whacky after awhile... discussing with the guys from what we learnt in sexual reproduction.. really interesting stuff...
sometimes gals complain guys are damn horny.. but seriously.. IT AIN'T OUR FAULT!! loLx.. its the NATURAL secretion of testesterone that stimulates sexual urge... hmmz... its natural that guys are horny.. if not.. something must be wrong with either his hypothalamus.. or his... testis... hmmz.. hx.. i wonder... could it be both?? OMG!!!
cytoplamic determinants.. sweet stuff.. i said this b4 in a post long time ago.. but guys are XY and gers are XX... good for the gals coz they reach puberty earlier~~ hooRay!! but ar.. X carries more genetic info.. so if your son is STUPID... coz he is XY... then by punett square... the X came from the mother and Y came from the dad.. so... if your son ends up stupid.. its not the father's fault!! serious!!
anyways the problems of sexuality and testerone levels aside... we did talk abt the "nv cross a body of water b4 syndrome" in view of our sentosa trip 5 days away from now~~ hEhz.. its a class secret.. husH~~~~ i even managed to get kL into a deal of monkey clapping for 5 dollars an hour.. not really cheap.. but damn its worth it.. loLx... >.<
oh.. its 1.40pm le.. hahaz... pack up... study alittle of abortion.. then "BANG".. oh yah hor.. how to do T-test ar... variety from unnatural selection ressulted in the following responses "huh?" "hahah" "ARHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"... coOL... so lets get started...
32 pages!!! sick sH*t!! all that in 1 and a half hours~?!?~? oh.. option.. cooL.. lalala... on to growth and sex~~~ check pages.. saw the word "wind pollinated" HOSEY aR!! when it begun i quickly started on essay.. my hands were really painful... realised no human qns.. those study human siao liao... but im a plant specialist~! hEhz.. did the essay until damn song.. then went on to structured.. rather abstract.. but as jk said.. its EASY to whack.. loLx.. so anyhow whack... what smoking get more gers.. then doing some obscene stuff to lamb.. (where are hindlimbs huh.. sounds.. high...) like vibrationS?? DRIVER FREQUENCY REACH NATURAL FREQUENCY..
ok lar.. finished my first option paper with 8 min left.. check thru... slowly tie.. song.. end of paper.. phew... maybe its the theory of relativity eh? but i felt REAL good after this paper in contrast to P2.. coz its good to feel you're in control of what you're thinking.. and answers flow nicely... at least it makes me feel like all that mugging is worth it!! woohOO~~~ think i now too high on serotonin le.. and no i dont need oestrogen~~
dEminG
haLo 2 timE~~ ja neH~!
My mind's unweaving/ 4:12 PM
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Romaji Lyrics English Translation
zankoku na tenshi no you ni
shounen yo shinwa ni nare [2]
Like a cruel angel,
young boy, become the legend! [2]
[Short Instrumental Intro]
[Short Instrumental Intro]
aoi kaze ga ima
mune no DOA wo tataite mo
watashi dake wo tada mitsumete
hohoende'ru anata
A blue wind is now
knocking at the door to your heart, and yet
you are merely gazing at me
and smiling.
sotto fureru mono
motomeru koto ni muchuu de
unmei sae mada shiranai
itaike na hitomi
Something gently touching--
you're so intent on seeking it out,
that you can't even see your fate yet,
with such innocent eyes.
dakedo itsuka kidzuku deshou
sono senaka ni wa
haruka mirai mezasu tame no
hane ga aru koto
But someday I think you'll find out
that what's on your back
are wings that are for
heading for the far-off future.
zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE
madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de [3]
omoide wo uragiru nara
kono sora wo daite kagayaku [4]
shounen yo shinwa ni nare
The cruel angel's thesis
will soon take flight through the window,
with surging, hot pathos, [3]
if you betray your memories.
Embracing this sky [universe] and shining, [4]
young boy, become the legend!
[Instrumental] [5]
[Instrumental] [5]
zutto nemutte'ru
watashi no ai no yurikago
anata dake ga yume no shisha ni
yobareru asa ga kuru
Sleeping for a long time
in the cradle of my love
The morning is coming when you alone will be called
by a messenger of dreams.
hosoi kubisuji wo
tsukiakari ga utsushite'ru
sekai-juu no toki wo tomete
tojikometai kedo
Moonlight reflects off
the nape of your slender neck.
Stopping time all throughout the world
I want to confine them, but...
moshimo futari aeta koto ni
imi ga aru nara [6]
watashi wa sou jiyuu wo shiru
tame no BAIBURU [7]
So if two people being brought together by fate
has any meaning, [6]
I think that it is a "bible"
for learning freedom. [7]
zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE
kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru
dakishimeta inochi no katachi
sono yume ni mezameta toki
dare yori mo hikari wo hanatsu
shounen yo shinwa ni nare
The cruel angel's thesis.
The sorrow then begins.
You held tight to the form of life
when you woke up from that dream.
You shine brighter than anyone else.
Young boy, become the legend!
hito wa ai wo tsumugi nagara
rekishi wo tsukuru
megami nante narenai mama
watashi wa ikiru
People create history
while weaving love.
Even knowing I'll never be a goddess or anything like that,
I live on.
zankoku na tenshi no TE-ZE
madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
hotobashiru atsui PATOSU de
omoide wo uragiru nara
kono sora wo daite kagayaku
shounen yo shinwa ni nare
The cruel angel's thesis
will soon take flight through the window,
with surging, hot pathos,
if you betray your memories.
Embracing this sky and shining,
young boy, become the legend!
dEminG
nEtt tan = 0
My mind's unweaving/ 1:38 PM
Saturday, November 20, 2004
5 days to freedom!!
4 more papers left!!
Endure eNdure!!!
dEminG
watChing evangelion epIsode 5..
My mind's unweaving/ 10:43 PM
most of what i wrote was true though... and i dont really feel like attending the results day... been taking a long break since yesterday.. gotta mug for bio soon... meanwhile i was thinking of a title when i thought of the OP for evangelion... back then when i first watched it.. i didn't know what thesis means.. so i wonder what this means now... a crueL angel's thesis... maybe the cruel angel's argument/idiosyncracy/answer?? i wonder..
dEminG
zAem goku nA tEnoshiteehteh~~
My mind's unweaving/ 3:10 PM
Friday, November 19, 2004
.... chem paper 1... i barely completed it... and had so many careless errors.. its not like i didnt prepare for this paper... chlorate.... arGH! first it rained and distracted me.. later my mind started to lose focus... all was a mess....had a very bad feeling after the paper... smart ppl could confidently talk abt qns... why couldnt i have that privilege too??? wHY~!~!?? reality........ me.......... what is the link?
there goes my hopes for a B for chem.... so ppl say i have 3 more subs.... my plans wrecked... GP wasn't as good as i hoped.... how could i possibly make it into journalism??? chem was a waste.. i put much more effort for chem than b4... i was happy with how much i know that i didnt realise b4... but still.... why am i taking 4As?? why do i still take? i knew this would happen... but why did i still stay on.. i thought i could make it.. i thought i deserved the breaks i gave myself.. i thought wrong....
so what will happen to me?? i would get grades from a range of C to E.... no university would ever let me in.. like where in singapore do you get that privilege?? so what if i can lead.. im enthusiastic.. i enjoying working... no university... no degree.. no job... why must education do this to me??? i take 4A's coz i love knowledge.. i enjoy the fact of sharing my knowledge.. knowing more abt this world that we live in... but why do exams ask qns that nv come close to reality??? even in laboratories... readings.. do they have so much unknowns??? do you really go on and permutate life?? so what... who would accept a person with meagre "EDUCATION QUALIFICATION".. even if you love the topic.. you love the subject.. no body will accept me...
so what now... dance? i cant even dance for shit... sports?? i didnt win back a medaL... army?? how much can i earn?? in reality.. money is power after all... if not for future.. i would just suffice with subsistance living.. but rich ppl have power.. and they will manipulate the poor.. how much muscles or laughter will change that outcome?? nonE! what can i do.. beg the deans to let me in?? continue studying for exams that i HATE?? i want to study.. but i hate exams... it makes it feel like you studied for NOTHING... so how do i go on??
i really feel like giving up... the pain of jumping to your death looks even better than looking onto my future... i love my life.. i love my frenz.. i love my family.. i love every moment i lived thus far... its all in beauty.. but if i do badly.. i would have let down my family.. my frenz... if i die... my family will have wasted their investment... in comparison death seems so much more beautiful.. its not a question of how daring one is... i will and can die with no remorse... any moment.. but would that be escaping from reality?? this reality that makes everyone conform to it?? this manifestation of what the perverse think as EDUCATION?? if not for the love of my family... the companionship of my frenz.. it wouldnt matter to me if i'm in hell or earth...
i thought i might just go on to start a business.. but i cant even make it to SMU.. ask my aunt?? and work my way up?? then why did i study for?? stay in the army... i can live with it.. can my family?? i enjoy teaching.. but if you want me to teach to ensure excellent grades.. forget it... WHY DO GRADES MATTER TO YOU SO MUCH~!?~!? WHY WHY!!!! where can i go on?? i really dont know what to feel... i want to go on with life.. do my best with what i can.. but what can i do to know that im really doing my best?? only other ppl can say.. and they will say i didnt do my best.. or tell white lies that i am doing my best..
i want to live.. i wanna make more memories with the ones i love.. i wanna laugh along with my frenz.. i wanna make my family happy.. i want to end this torment.. i want to bring my future family happiness.. i want to do what i want to do.. but will the world let me?? i dont have the courage to talk to anybody now.. i just want to lock myself away from this world... i wish to find solace in someplace... but that place will not exist... i want somebody to lend me shoulders to cry... but i dont want ppl to worry... i dont wanna end my life.. i dont wanna carry on this life... what if i can find a world without need for money?? afterlife?? i wont take my own life.. but if someone will.. i will not blame him..
i made up my mind... the day we receive my results i wont be attending it... i want to smile with my frenz... laugh and joke like always.. i want to congratulate the ones that got good results... but i dont want to be there.. i dont want my teachers to see my results.. i dont want to see their sad faces.. i dont want to cry there... i dont want that day to come... but it will come... and the only escape is be non-existent when that day comes.. maybe i will.. maybe i wont... no matter how much courage i have in face of my greatest fear.. nothing can prepare me for what the world will do to me... my gods has always provided me a way... but in the end... i expect no help from thems... they didnt play tricks on me.. i did.. so did the world... so why do i go on so the world can torment me further??
i want to sleep this nightmare away like i always did.. but i cant sleep.. i can find no peace in my soul now... no one will understand how i feel... i wish i can tell my parents so many things.. how much i love them... but i probably wont find the energy to do it... the world is vast... maybe i will send myself into exile... into some place where theres no one i know.. and no one that knows me.. a living phantom... i can't take this anymore... i want to run away... i want to fight back.... BUT WHAT CAN I DO IN THE END... the results.... will never come...
dEming
i juSt want to bE alonE...
My mind's unweaving/ 4:23 PM
Thursday, November 18, 2004
SUX... haiz.. mcq was crappy.. but P2 was easy except the last qns when i didnt really do power dissipation... sometimes hear ppl discuss abt the paper... ppl rejoicing that they came across familar qns from their tys.. it makes one wish that you did ALL the tys mcq huh?? though its not like i dont know how to do.. but mcq is often misleading... then it would be more rewarding to ppl who do their past papers more than ppl who really understands the topic... confusing?? maybe...
kinda shiok after the paper... its 11 papers down.. with 6 left.. the end is in sight... finally my plans may come into light... thus far worries have arouse as of these 'easy' papers that have many easy qns and a few tricky and really tough qns.. where do i stand?? with moderation.. i can barely expect how i'll rank up against those straight A's guys... i bet the A's have been a breeze for them thus far.. eitherways i'm beginning to disregard how the results will turn out... and look forward more to the end of this excruciatingly boring examination..
tagboard.com keeps crashing all the time.. pretty screwed up i must say.. so i decided to change to myshoutbox.com.. kinda cute eh?? hahaz.. empty for the moment... but should be filled in no time.. hehez... and oh yah... ys completed halo 2.. and i'm almost there.. just that i keep playing previous stages with new guests like kL and dong.. hEhez.. cant wait for NFSU2 to come out.. then i'll get myself DoA:uLtimate and it foR my pRe-nS enjoyment.. hEhez... but its also kinda short.. the camp.. the chalet.. the taiwan trip.. together i'm left with barely 2 weeks to really do what i want b4 NS takes it all away... haiz.. "CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY???" "SURE I CAN!!! *NS*"
dEminG
don'T saY hEllo.. saY HALO!!!
My mind's unweaving/ 10:23 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
just cant get it right... stupid tagboard down.. thats the problem with free stuff.. they suck... and yepz.. i'm not free now.. gotta study.... do it do it do it do it do it..
dEminG
THAT DOES IT!!
My mind's unweaving/ 9:59 PM
Monday, November 15, 2004
wake up... maths P2 practise... tcMi.... xbOx cryStaL aRrives... 5houRs of conTInuouS conVenanT slaYing aCtion... sonG... with brO.. too PRo... tired.. go eat at bK.. lonG timE no Eat... eX.. not sonG too.. waste monEy.. wenT looK at xBox gaMes.. saw Dead or Alive Volleyball... all same size one.. not nice... then saw kingdom under fire... might consider... but ys say NFSU 2 out on 21.. can'T waIt to chionG.... XboX gamEs either $39.90 or $69.90... kiSs my 10 dollaR PS2 gamEs awaY... can caLl polIce to bAotoh pirated shopS.. hAhaZ! niCe onE...
DeminG
mAths tmL..... xboX tmL too.. woO!!
My mind's unweaving/ 7:48 PM
DEminG
My mind's unweaving/ 5:43 PM
dEminG
My mind's unweaving/ 11:44 AM
Saturday, November 13, 2004
yong's shen house.. thon again..... xbox live.... hAlo 2 song.... coffee bean... stomach dont bulge as much le... metabolism slow down... change hairstyle.... sick.... cold... blocked nose.... sad.... no one message me.... ys happy... good to see him back 100%... too tired..... can't take it... 159... hallucinate.... home... blog.... end...
dEminG
ppL say my blog too long.. how abt this format? hahaz.. interpret on your own yeaH?? >.< let your mind wander!
My mind's unweaving/ 9:54 PM
manifested within these laRd-fuL enTIties... thE epiTomE oF aLl tRiglyCeridEs... rEside a smALl yEt relatIvely impT funCtion of thE braIn... thouGH compRessEd beyonD recoGnition... it may weLl lET ouT siLent sCreamS of agonY amiDst faTs that knoW no bounDs... but yeT iTs capTor haPpily coNtorts thaT siLEnt sCream into lauGhter thaT maDe the woRd 'spastiC' sounD likE bEautifuL...
on the outside you see a biG fat B*staRd... in thE insIde you sEe a biG fat b*starD... in thE enD.. a biG faT b*starD is whaT you sEe... you might wonDer how comE hE stiLL rejoices in hiS sElf fuLfillinG prOphEcy... this is where i hypothesize the POWER of the horde... liKE waRcraft... thE oRcish hoRde... faT ah bEngs share thinGS in commOn.. thEY finD sTrength in numbErs.. thEiR uniTy is unbReakablE.. theiR haiRdos looK likE thEy nv sEen a pRopEr comB in thEir liVe.. anD moRe impoRtanTly they aRe alL ghaStly ABOMINATIONS.. in short... THEY ARE UGLY!!! why doesnt that explain why their so united??
enClosed in thEIr coCoonS of blUbbEr... thEy caNnot sEe pasT thEir dRoopinG faT eyeliDs... obScuring thEir viSion.. and TheiR inTelliGent evEn moRe... theY have thE giFt of unCanny conFidence that almost sUmmounts to puRE sTupidiTy fRom pRide... they think thEY finD lOVe in thrash talkinG faT aH lianS (thEir aCcompliCes in dumbFound hAPpinEsS)... anD so hapPens theiR haPpy Ever afTer... in facT thEy smokE so muCH thEy mighT juST cReatE a clouD to bRing thEm to clOUd ninE!!
then comes the quEstion of whY suCh spaCe consuminG bEings stiLL eXist.. haSn't naTurE dEstroyed thEir in its selEction? thiS is whEre humAn neEds takEs preceDence oVer naturAl sElEction... looK aRounD.. moST of who wE knoW are stuDYing hard.. prospective buSineSsman... laWyers... cEos.. then hoW abouT thE toilET clEanerS? thE waiTers? thE winDow clEanerS? the bEggarS?? THAT is why we being the mercifuL humans have let this inFerioR racE oF faT ah bEngs co-eXisT so that we may mainTain bAlanCE in thiS woRld... so fEar not my comraDes.. in duE timE.. thaT faT ah bENg that piSsed you oFf.. wiLL bE clEaning the toilET at thE shoppinG ceNtre cloSest to youRs~~
amiGos~!! p.S:no oFfence to pPL with bEtter linGuistiC abiliTies...
dEminG
what dID you saY? no oFfence to thE faT ah bEngs? ooOOoO.... riGHt.....
My mind's unweaving/ 4:28 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
after the double hell papers on tuesday its almost like a lvls were over manz.. loLx.. 0 stReSs.. my only thought was fun!! loLx... but first the paper itself.. to be honest.. i'm surprised... why did they set such easy papers? no offence but i feel like they really tried to simplify the papers... bio wasnt too tough.. but my essay was totally weak... crapped... gotta rely on my P3 le... maths was easier than i thought.. just that one question i forgot how to find discriminant.. (i thought was f'(x)) no wonder i couldnt find... bleAhz.. after that i jio-ed the guys to go visit yong shen..
yupz.. he is discharged le.. luckily it isnt fatal case... thought he felt really bored and down.. so wanted to pay him a visit.. then the thought of thorning came across my mind.. loLx.. the next thing you know i was packed to thorn at ys place.. fabby and dong went too.. hahaz... i raelly had alot of fun there.. chatting with ys' msn with other ppL... playing NFSU... even fabby and dong who intended to leave at first stayed too!! yeAH!! fabby got high on jolly shandy and dong wanted to buy tiger.. loLx.. thank god they forgot abt buying beer... >.< was really fun thorning.. all of us bunking in ys' room.. as usual i took the floor.. not that i wanna act selfless or anything.. but i can sleep on hard ground very well.. so i volunteered to take the floor while the 3 went on comfy beds... dong totally k.O-ed with a weird sleeping pattern but fabby ys and me went on talking losta crap.. lOlx.. "do it do it do it"... "master your d*ck and your d*ck will master the world!" etc etc.. hahaz.. can imagine how much we laughed our ar*e out that night manz.. gotta say i really miss thorning and it was really really enjoying coz its the first time i thorned with my class ppL... even the usually cold fabby opened up abit more... hEhez... best of all i'm really glad to see yonG shen back 100%... hahAz.. still the cheerful and happy brudder of minE~~ gooD to SEe that you'Re back duDE!!
ys home left a lasting aftertaste in my lips.. a thirst for GAMING!! loLx.. i got hooked onto ghosT recON and wanna chiong NEed foR spEed undErgrOund agaIn.. moreover the most anticipated game of the year HALO 2 is ouT!! coOL.. just look at the graphics and you get what i mean manz... went home played PS2.. but my bro took his memory card to camp lorz.. b*stard!! hahaz... today went to rivervale mall to play XboX games at X-squAre.. wanted to play halo 2.. but they only had 3 discs.. so dong and i settled for HalO 1.. loLx.. and gawd it ROCKED!! manz.. if HaLo onE rulEs.. i think hALo 2 has goTta own duDE!!! woOH!!!
but of coz i played really hard these 2 days.. i was initially worried if i might fix my focus back again.. btu amazingly when i opened my books.. my mood was completely into studying... manz.. sometimes i amaze myself.. so today we went bean again... wasnt too fruitful in terms of quantity.. but quality rulEd!! hahaz.. but pei yun and i did burn alot of time on one stupid stats qns... so damn tedious.. loLx.. calculate untiL siao... hahaz.. then audrey also tried to hp-nap my handphonE.. hahaZ... kinda cooL.. just going to bean to study you make 2 new frenz.. hEhez... was abit dao to the other guys there coz they tend to get excessively noisy or flirty at times.. but well.. maybe i'll get to know them better after my A's.. hEhz...
dEminG
xboX... hAlo 2... pC.... hAlf-liFe 2... pS2.... sTar ocEan... oh mAN!! i'm in hEaven!!
My mind's unweaving/ 10:19 PM
Monday, November 08, 2004
hmmz... hmmz... finally one core paper down~~ chEmistry yEpz... can feel the difference between SRJC chem paper and A lvl... one thing confirmed is that A lvl 1st question doesnt make people stone at it for 30min b4 beginning to tackle the qns or even skip it... even the usual black-faced fabby was seen doing a hi-5 to chia hong~~ loLx.. like they very hairpee lidat.. me aR? hmmz.. gotta admit its a very simple paper.. but alittle disapointed that GrP 7 and 2 diDn't comE out.. really memorised the shit outta them... then electrochem i was abit confused and all... so yepz.. it IS a easy paper.. but i dont think i can score as well as the others~~ but well.. its oveR~~
gaWd.. tmL we got 2 coRe paperS... bIO in thE morNinG anD mAths at niTe.. i thouGht was maThs fiRSt followEd by bIo.. shiT!! i got back felt SUPER tired.. and decided to take a 1 hour nap.. turned into a 3 hours nap... haiz.. not feeling dazing and still wanna sleep that kidna feeling.. but i havent even really mugged bio and havent practise maths in a long time... haiz.. guess i tonight dont need to sleep again.... if only can have sleep debt then i clear them on wednesday~ hEhez...
oh yah.. im really worried about my dear fren yong shen.. he me and donghai have been meeting up almost everyday at coffee bean to study... yesterday he said to me that his heart was beating uncontrollably and felt really uncomfortable.. he messaged me later that night that he was in the hospital and diagnosed as at risk of stroke or sudden death.. now he tells me he may have to go through operation after the A leVeL's... i feel really scared but i dont want to think negatively either... i just really pray that he has a speedy recovery... he has losta things to do with me~~ we still gotta chereograph a dance.. look for prom clothes.. train for army.. and even report to teKong on the same time samE daY!!! wilL be visiting him tml after maths... just hope that the gods wilL look over him....
dEminG
yES donGhaI!! stop thinkiNg abT fiXing my hAir.. loLx.. or thEre goES youRs!! >.<
My mind's unweaving/ 6:42 PM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
hmmz... today woke up early.. felt like going out to walk walk.. so kallang straightaway came across my mind coz its a saturday sunny morning.. hahaz.. went there and tried to avoid being seen by the J1s... end up had a long long conversation with mr tth.. talked about losta stuff lar.. like our principal, school, team.. university... army and all... also went over talk to coach abt life and progress of the team... actually i looked forward to just staying at the wall there to look at their laps.. to my horror the J1s were still doing balancing... and judging from the repeitive capsizings.. it felt more like a 1-star course than SRJC canoeing training... i would haf understood if its the first trg after so long.. but its like the 6th trg (according to coach) and alot of them esp the gals were not serious in their training... after trg they didnt even seem worn out at all to me... i felt like telling them abt what i saw in them... but i wanted melvin to do it... but alas... he didn't even think of what to say.. as though the trg just went very smoothly... haiz.... i shall just open my mouth during the camp ba.. now its all in their hands..
anyways i really unwound well there.. the air and sun really made me feel good... a far cry from the cold rainy days b4 today was really hot and sunny... manz... miss the sun... looking at ppl paddle make me rethink many things.. esp that last 2nd race.. the best race in my life.. the feeling still etched into my mind... walking ard the bridge, shed, shore... brought back alot of sweeet memories... cant wait for A's to end and straightaway sign up for alumni and challege the J1s to a race... if they trained hard they would beat me with no qualms.. but from what i see.. some of them are like they were still in 1st 3 months... paddling in a lackadaisical way... lets see how it go ba? i felt abit mean ba.. but if i was the captain i wouldnt hesistate saying "you know whats the diff from 1 star course participants and you guys? just 2 things... the singlet.. and the equipment..." i just pray what i witnessed today is the minority and will diminish by the next time i see them... i really hope so...
after that i went back took a bath then left for HP again... was amazingly packed today with unfamilar faces everywhere.. luckily kian dong and ys there with table le... later rs came along too in her sch uni... when a table was finally vacant i moved over with kian and was joined shortly by audrey... hahaz... gotta say she really loves to say "WADEVA~~" like its a punctuation mark.. loLx.. must start and end with it sia.. =p chiong chem all the way to night time... was feeling tired le then suddenly got this thirst for coffee.. so i bought capuccino... thinking i might need the boost.. i ordered a DOUBLE.. loLx.. talk abt double happiness sia... just one small teaspoon of it make anyone who drank from it go 'oHhH~~wEee'.. hahaz.. shit man!! i became super high at first.. every sip made me wide awake.. loLx.. but when i finished it ar.. a BIG headache came in... crap.. felt light-headed and heavy-headed at the same time.. its almost like im having a hangover!!! cafFeiNe oVerdosE!! loLx.. sh*t manz... not still recovering alittle... at least now i still can type in a continuous prose.. cant be sure abt a few min after this... *buRp*
dEminG
shuTting doWn in 3...2................... *what happened to onE??* aR shAddAP~!! ZzZzZzZzZ
My mind's unweaving/ 10:48 PM
Friday, November 05, 2004
Romaji Lyrics English Translation
yuugure chiisana kage ga hashaide
watashi o toorisugi ieji e kaette yuku
ano hi anata to konna fuukei
okutte kawashita ne
futari dake no takaramono o
In the evening small shadows dance around
I pass through the roads on my way home
That day with you and this kind of scenery
It was brought to me
A treasure for just two of us
kokoro de musubareta yakusoku
ima mo ima mo taisetsu ni
idaite itsuno hi ka anata ni atte soshite
hataseru sonna hi o
watashi shinjinagara sugoshitemasu
the promise that binds my heart
is important even now
Embracing, someday may be i will meet
you and then it will be fullfilled that day
as long as i believe i'll be waiting
ima goro doko ni iru no deshou ka?
kawashita yakusoku kokoro ni mada aru kana
kisetsu watatte shibatta keredo
kawarazu ano koro no anata dato negatte imasu
I wonder where you could be now
That promise i wonder if it's still in your heart
the seasons have changed, but
it doesn't change that time
I wish that it is you
omokage musurettemo yakusoku
ima mo ima mo kono mune no mannaka o atsuku shite
shikkari kokoro kokoro musubareteru
koto o watashi shinjinagara matteimasu
even it your face fades, that promise
is in my heart even now
it burns passionately within me
our hearts are tied together
as long as i believe i'll be waiting
anata ni aetanara yakusoku sotto sotto
tazunetai ano hi no futari e to modoreru
naraba douka mouichido
yakusoku shite ne shinjinagara inottemasu
if i should meet you, that promise
softly i want to ask
to return to the two of us from that day
if so then one more time, another promise
make with me, as long as i believe and praying
My mind's unweaving/ 9:55 PM
anyways i headed to hp again to study.. went to mac for breakfast first... my mom been complaining about my incessant withdrawals from my ez-link card for mac meaLs.. hahaz.. kinda guilty so paid with cash instead.. *aLso coz my ez-link card no credit le.. =p* was starting with my chem till hordes about hordes of sec school KIDS came swarming into hP.. with my earphones plugged in, i thought i could focus... manz.. was i in for a rebuttal... apparently they just finished their A maths paper i think.. so grps of them were making a huge fuss ard mac... laughing out loud like they're trying to compete with themselves like "whos the most retarded?".. irritated i move to tea leaf.. where those cheapskate noisy buggers cant enter.. HAHA!! pooR pRickS!
anyways ys came later and i went abt chionging the chem redspot tys... intend to finish the book by tonight.. hahaz.. quite alot to go thru i must say... was pretty fruitful while i was taking an ostensibly limitless supply of fluids to keep my brain going.. (tropical passion tea + free flow of ice water) coupled with the heavy downpour, it was inexorable that frequent trips were made to be in touch with nature.. =] i visited the gents so many times i could almost claim to have used every 1 of the 9 urinals... hMmz... its NATURE yepZ~~~ and when a guy has to go.. trust me.. he HAS to go.. it aint abt holding your breath.. hAhaaz.. at least your nose doesnt implode upon pressure.. >.<
later dong and the canoeists came by... i was delved into my own chem world and tried to cut off all links to the world ard me.. UNTIL... kiat loong came.. gaWd!! he has this uncanny ability to pernetrate the most impregnable of my barriers to the noise - my earphones... he was talking with ys so vividly abt soccer than you could say the music in my ears were but a breeze of wind.. and it was FULL bLast!! gawd.. went out for a walk or two to try to get my focus back.. but it was a futile attempt.. it isn't really in correlation to KL's voice.. but coz his voice brought me back to the talking world.. and as i subconsciously tried to re-enter my tys world.. the friction becomes excruciatingly painful... even after he left i found little solace in my ramshackled mind... defeated and tired.. i packed my stuff.. bought a brownie and left...
on my way back... 159 was late as usuaL.. so the bus was really packed... i was standing near the exit when i saw this old man OFFERING his empty seat to some kids.. they hopped on and the old man seeing that they came in 3s stood up... all 3 of them jumped on without a single word of thankz.. my eyes were immediately drawn to their parents.. one fat old ah beng lookalike.. and a big fat b*tch taking up 4/5 of the walkway... both bore indifferent looks towards the old man's act of kindness.. i was like "WTF??? what is the world coming to? oLd peoplE now have to offer seats to the YOUNG and f*cked up generations???" i felt really obliged to pat the old mans back and say a word of 'thanks'.. but i figured he might become confused why i would say so.. later when another pair of seats was vacant right in front of me.. i saw that the malay couple was eyeing them and gave me a "i'm taking that seat stare"... being the civic conscious gentleman.. i stepped aside and let them take the seat... somehow when that fat sl*t took the seat.. the world looked so much bigger... ^___^
now im back home listening to my radio... somehow my skeptical fears of losing things i cherished hit me again... i placed some of my old cds and played some familar tunes.. those of old anime.. love hina, card captor sakura, noir, intiaL d.. all their OSTs... its amazing how come i can regurgitate every syllabus in the song "yakusaku" from love hina.. gotta say it is the most lovable song i still remember up to now... it means promise and it really left a mark on me... do check it out yepz!! i was actually trying to sleep but as i found myself singing along with some songs and dancing with others.. i woke up full of energy again... hEhez.. so now im blogging here.. maybe later continue with my chem marathorn~~ gamBatte!!!
dEminG
somEtimES aT tRying tiMes.. soLiTude is a muST... but yEt.. oNce agaIN.. i fEel lOnEly...contradicting myselF? you bEt!
My mind's unweaving/ 7:19 PM
Thursday, November 04, 2004
haiz.. today was really kan jiong for paper 1... can say i didn't really perform the best i could for that section... not a very impressive article i must say... kept stoning at some parts due to mental blocks... i did the question on "how inventions and discoveries are used are not of the scientist's concern"... did that b4.. and coz the media qns wasn't really my cuppa tea... papEr 2 was much easier... really straightforward and all.. just hope my P2 can salvage me a B3 at best.. haiz.. feel a little dissapointed as i really hoped to score at least a A2.. coz i wish to try out for some writing course in uni... haiz...
anyways after that we went to kovan mac again.. the usuaL gang.. loLx.. this time saw leb leb jk too... the doubles yar.. hAhaz.. when i saw them at first i was abit stunned lar.. >.< maybe thats not a good word.. =p coz its like its been a long time since i really saw them much less talk to them... maybe coz they been spending alot of time with their gfs~~ no complaints here... but sometimes as a fren you might miss their company yeaH??? =\ loLx.. candice even exclaimed that i got fatter le!! what the... i know i got tummy le lar.. but wear uniform also can see mehz? >.< can say my face alittle more chubby le.. but then my dimples reappear le~~ hEHez.. cuTe mahZ? *vomiTs* hahaz... as usual we crapped since our A'O leveLs were donE wiTh~~ yeAH!!! we were also discussing our answers for P2 vocab section... one of which was stimulate.. i wrote initiate... when amos said it wasnt too right.. i figured maybe TURN ON will be more appropriate ar?? loLx.. and obliged = YEs yESS!!!!! o.O
anyways i got home and took a nap... the heavy thunderstorm accelerated my sleeping mode... was supposed to join ys and dong for a swim.. but i didnt bring the trunks and wasnt really into the mood... unfortunate for them i think they were caught in the rain.. hope they dont get a cold or anything.. coz i'm having a sore throat.. bRr... coz of that chicken essence lar... sHeEsh... wet days like this really sap me of my energy manz... then somehow i feel abit lonely as i closed my eyes to sleep... choice vs destiny huh? though i wrote that choice is more beneficiaL.. the part on soul mates being chosen for one was better than choosing one's own loved one kinda hit me alittle.. coz i actually feel that when it comes down to love... there's no choice.. it just hits me lidat... then leaves me... i wonder is it just me.. or that feelings for someone can really fade... maybe then its my destiny wouldn't it?
dEminG
caN you chooSe youR dEStiny? i bEg to diFfer..
My mind's unweaving/ 7:25 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
phew... thought i only didnt blog for 2 days.. didnt realise its already reaching the 4th day! hahaz.. kkz lar... nothing much to blog recently.. just been studying as usuaL with utmost boredom.. hEhez... tmL is finally the start of the long awaited a lvl's.. blEahz... GP first... on the bright side after tml i can chuck all my GP notes aside.. but on the negative side.. im gonna miss GP... =\ dont really feel accustomed to placing all those hard work in GP in just 3 hours... in one day.... whether it turns out well or a massacre... its only next year will i see... really hope i can secure a good grade for GP.. so that i can try for a course i hope for in university~~~ kkz.. gotta go and read up alittle bit more... all the best peoplE!!!
dEminG
3 pAPers doWn... 14 to gO... after tmL.. only the 4A's remain...
My mind's unweaving/ 10:15 PM
Boat Shoe from Timberland
Green Scarf from Hermes