hmmz.. today could barely drag my big ass off the bed again.. hAhaz.. maybe its the holidays blues.. i almost ran late for my training today... but coz today had a maths lecture i decided to do some test on the J2s so as to assess their training capability for this critical month for our team... i'll be taking mine on thursday ya? wonder how would i rank up against the other guys for our S-J circuit...

maths lecture was a bore.. guess the tiredness from going out too late yesterday was coming back to me.. but i kinda slept over my thoughts from yesterday.. maybe its coz of the scenario lar.. loLx.. well.. i also don't know what i should really do.. so i guess.. just let nature take its course.. hahaz.. meanwhile i should get more busy with studies and my training le...

today i kinda agreed with my classmates to drop out from PROM NIGHT.. well to be honest.. i've always wanted to go for it.. i didn't get the opportunity back then in sec sch.. so i wanted to go haf fun.. but from a original 9 interested ppl.. we dropped till we only got 6 ppl on our table.. yong shen went over to the rocmoc table to fill the table then preeti like aint too keen.. so like no point we all pay an additional 40 dollars to either book the table to FREE-LOAD someone else... it just isn't fair.. i didnt want to go prom so as to BEG and PERSUADE guys to go.. its so sad to see that ppl find no meaning in cerebrating our graduation... so kiat loong was right to say money makes the world go round? yes even i also need money.. but MONEY DOES NOT DICTATE MY LIFE be it poor or rich.. i will always stay the same old deming... i aint as WEAK as to let money control my life! simply speaking i detest money minded ppl! hmph! =/

hmmz.. anyways the SINGAPORE IDOL judges are finally out.. and frankly speaking.. i dont recognise a single one of them.. loLx.. hao hao say he wanna go for the audtions.. didn't know if he was serious.. hahaz but i'll wish him all the best ya? talking abt singing.. i nv took pride in my voice for singing.. maybe coz of scouting and canoeing i kinda lost my calm voice i had b4 due to shouting.. but i do HATE to hear ppl who just keeps singing and singing ard me.. as though they were good singers.. manz.. they just spoil the song lorz.. we need ppl like simon ard.. tell them in their face YOU SING LIKE SH*T... so... DON'T SING!

dEminG
pmS-inG? nAhz.. just letting out my boRedoM.. hahAz..

hmmz.. today started off with a gym visit with my usual gang angela.. vincent and kai jie... frankly speaking i havent been to the gym for some time.. got the lazy hormones.. woke up a little late and was tempted to sleep it away... but i decided to come anyways and slack.. but when i got to the gym.. i started my drive again... chionged my puLl ups.. bEnch prEss(27.5kg X2)... biCeps cuRL(12.5kg X2).. militAry pRess (15kg X2)... baR roWing(17.5kg X2).. Etc eTc..... maybe coz of losta other fit guys ard.. but i kinda proud to see that im one of the more defined ones lar.. loLx.. quite bHB leiz.. but ppL do say i'm pRetty tonEd.. (thaNKs to SWIMMING!!) and can observe the diff between supplement eating ppl and hard training ppl.. hEhez..

got back a little shagged.. changed to some smart casual then went out at 3 plus to meet up my ex classmates from 4E1!!! hahaz.. but first off i dropped off at dhoby ghaut and went to this P.O.A superstore with a small DOMANCHI branch.. coz yesterday at bugis i saw this neat shirt that was at 50% off.. coz of lack of time i went P.S one.. but they didn't have the one i wanted.. so i went over to orchard mrt to look for them... was kinda early so went shopping at topman.. bloodbrothers etc etc.. recently i changed my fashion sense.. from U2 to DOMANCHI/TOPMAN etc...

my whacky old classmates were just as noisy as ever.. lOLx.. they nv changed abit.. choon leong and co were back to their noisy antics.. making noise and proclaiming we're from RJC and all.. hahaz... though i dont really fit in.. i always made the effort to chat with these long lost frenz.. some of them grew TALLER(*couGHs gAbrieL coUghs*).. some grew FITTER kAh guan boLeH~~! most of them stayed the same.. hahaz.. went to seoul garden to have a filling dinner at 25 DOLLARS wTf.. lucky i nv buy the shirt or i broke le... near the end of the meal.. i felt this SHARP PAIN along my deltoids.. it kinda left my arm paralysed for abit.. but went back to normal.. it struck abt 3 times till it went away.. guess i just overstrained myself a little...

then we split up into grps.. some went to esplanade and all.. i followed alex choon leong and co. for pool.. was kinda tempted to go with fabby and edwin.. but i was thinking i should spend some time with these guys as well.. my pool skills DEPROVED ALOT... hahaz.. but we had fun playing this game where each guy had 3 numbered balls and had to hit off the other guys' balls to eliminate them while keeping yourself alive.. hahaz... VIVA POOL SURVIVOR!! we then went to watch DAY AFTER TOMMORROW wasn't as good as i hoped.. but the effects were kinda good.. the plot needed some working though...

most of all today.. maybe its coz of my conversation with char the other day.. but as i was shopping for my shirt.. i kept thinking of getting a gift for fabian and whether to get a gift for her.. hold and behold.. today i met her at wisma atria with her frenz.. and i was with my frenz.. was kinda surprised but we didn't talk much coz it was very crowded... sounds stupid.. but during 1 of the scenes of the movie when the supporting actor urged the main actor to confess to the gal.. it kinda struck me.. and i felt heartache... sometimes i dont really understand myself.. its been almost a year.. though i cant remember how.. i always feel and remember that sense of longing for her.. many thoughts ran across my mind.. and why i didn't really make my feelings known... i have my reasons.. and i'm not confident either... it reminded me of a scene of a animation i saw.. the words... "i know that she is happy with her bf.. for at least let me say it in my dreams.. i like you.. and i know from the bottom of my heart.. i want to love you..."


kinGs oF kAmpunG!!


hAhaz.. canDid shoT


crAziesT buncH of ppL i evEr knEWN!

thouGht oF thE daY: aNd an unForGettaBLe holIDay is abouT to bEgin!!

dEminG
somEtimes i foRget hER loOKs.. hEr faCe.. hER smiLe.. yeT i stiLl think oF her.. anD i knoW my fEelings foR her...

yeah.. saturday!!! AkA... TRAINING DAY... aKa... KAlLanG daY!!.. yepZ yEpz.. actually yesterday when i went out with fabby to AMK.. i had a talk with him abt moi development as a canoeist.. many times.. i put my team above myself.. now i realize how far back i am... frankly speaking i was kinda setback... i already found myself at the losing end of the race... though fabby didn't really get this kinda feeling coz he didn't compete in sports b4.. he does show maturity of thought and all.. hahaz...

but yesterday after chatting with fabby i kinda refound my resolve.. and today as i made my way to kallang i planned out my plan for today with CLIBURN.. doing mosquito and all.. then... he didnt come... claims he has diarhoea..... haiZ.. so my well thought plan broke into shatters.. but then i kept to my objective BALANCE and PULL.. so i found the boat i could rely on.. K1 WHITE

at first it was kinda unstable coz its like only the 5th time i took it out to paddle.. but this time.. due to the challenge from LK.. i was determined to do my laps on it.. NO LONG PADDLE ALONG SHORE.. at first i did slowly.. but bit by bit i caught on and felt my skill activated.. sometimes i lose focus due to the fatigue.. but i now feel more aligned to the K1 than b4.. becoz my balance is better and strokes more smooth i do not spend as much energy as b4 to keep it upright...

after 3 laps 1000m and 7 laps 500m i fell in LOVE with the boat manz.. hahaz.. but then i didnt get to paddle it for second half of the day coz of K-pract.. though saddening.. im proud to see the J1s under our tutelage.. they have learnt the skills of the boat really fast.. they're like my own children in a way.. and seeing them grow warms my heart...

after the whole day spent at kallang (7.30am-7pm) i was supposed to meet KL and co. for HX's bdae.. but sadly.. nothing popped out.. so all my clothing and gifts all went to waste.. dressing up pretty nicely.. i felt it was a waste to go straight home.. so i went to bugis alone to shop.. coz june is coming.. losta bdaes were coming.. so i took the opportunity to go shopping.. though it sounds weird.. shopping ALONE is quite fun too.. though everyone else appear in grps or couples.. i still had fun window shopping.. domanchi is having this 50% discount.. and i saw the shirt i wanted to get some time ago.. but sadly this week i no money.. hope the discount lasts leiz... maybe tml i go get it... ^___^


gaZing intO thE darkNess thinkinG oF you...


nicE eh?

dEminG
somEtimes... bEing alOne isn'T a baD thinG

yeaH!! today finished my 2 Mid-Year Exams.. namely GP and BIO mcQ.. hahaz.. aint the best products but considering that i had a mild fever in the morning.. it was pretty ok ba... but doubt if i can reach my target of B3 for my GP.. i did on MASS MEDIA my pet topic since J1... coz i didnt read up on just war... when i saw that JUST WAR came out i was both "sh*tified and happy"... coz i knew those who prepared will score well.. but also more ppl will do and will repeat same points so other topics may stand a better chance...

after both papers fabby came over to me house... wanted to watch some INTERESTING STUFF.. end up he surf internet while i played ONIMUSHA 3 later convinced him to go AMK with me to find something for HX's bdae and join me for dinner with my parents... he was a little uncomfortable though.. hahaz.. shy boy huh.. next time MEET THE PARENTS of your gf how? hahaz.. later KL joined us at NTUC and we got his present.. hEhez... dont say out first lar... otherwise no surprise... =]

my bro just bought two DVDs.. BAND OF BROTHERS and LOTR:Return of the King.. swEet eh? recently i kinda in recession.. coz of 15th anniversary... bdaes... performances... her birthday coming... you think i should buy her something? i mean like.. its been soooooooo long... hmMmz.. anyways tmL we gonna have a picnic at kallang.. hahaz.. cooL eh? just wanna end off with a relevant word for today that i learnt..


NARCISSISMExcessive love or admiration of oneself.
A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

dEminG
guEss who? ^___^

whoa.. i'm good at predictions.. hold and behold.. today we had 7 ppL in sch.. loLx.. apparently jiAn minG class also got 6 ppL comE nia.. today got fabby, kL, calEb, phOebe, weiLing, jiA juN and moI.. hahaz.. kinda sianz leiz.. phoebe was like distanting herself from us.. so me kL, leb leb and fabby were like stuck to each other lidat.. hahaz.. bIo lecture was cooL.. only 1/4 of LT3 was occupied.. hahAz.. really hope they write something bad on their testimonials lorz.. tmD.. poN sch so muCh...

then gP lesson leb leb and pheobe died out.. hahaz.. left 5 guYs for GP.. we received this vocab exercise on what could possibly come out for tommorrow's Paper 1... which fortunately is one of my pet topics.. hEhez... but then we did that thingy for like 1 and a 1/2 hours lorz!! coupled with a irritating singing KL.. and a war of attrition with fabby of who should take the dic out... (caLl mE lonGman!! minE's caLled oXfoRd!!) i was really dying.. hahaz.. finally back home le.. but intend to play some games then revive myself from brain dead state le.. hahaz.. (better then turning into a veg)

thouGht oF tHe daY: wHy are you sO niCe to mE? youR smiLe... youR kinDneSs... just huRts mE moRe...

dEminG
goD blEss my papeRs tmL!

heyoZ! hmmz didn't blog yesterday coz i wasn't feeling well... after monday's training i kinda lost my voice as well as my stable health.. hahaz.. yesterday after slogging my ass off and after the swim i went back home and slept at 7pm hahaz.. woke up at 12mn though.. then messaged fabby and all.. then went back to sleep at 1am...

today wasn't too keen on going to sch.. in fact i have not recovered yet.. even my mom asked me to see a doc.. but well.. i dunnoe what came over me.. i just wanted to go sch.. hahaZ.. is that scary or what? =p actually i was hoping i would be late.. then i would not go to sch.. i rather pontank than get screwed by the discipline teachers lorz...

today quite a few took their early study break again... but it isn't the worst.. can say SR is pretty screwed up to have two papers (BIO AND GP) like on the last day of sch.. and STILL have sch the day b4.. already my class losta ppl are like plotting to not go to sch tml.. yet.. i still WANT to go to sch... gotta admitt.. i never really felt attached to the sch.. but instead to my TEAM & class ***GUYS***... but still i cant explain why i wanna go torment myself further while others stay at home and mug... am i foolish to do so?

today's training was kinda ok.. was on T1 (yepz my fav craft) did 3 Laps 1000m and 4 Laps 500m.. i totally die-ed during my 1000m but at least performed well during my 500m... isn't a very good timing though.. recently ever since like 3 weeks ago.. my right wrist has always failed me during sea trainings.. it disappeared for almost a week.. but its back again.. coach also mentioned my most nagging problem.. STATUS QUO.. i feel that my power is improving.. my strokes is more rhymtic... my land training is putting in more effort.. but still.. im NOT IMPROVING AT SEA... my hypothesis was true as coach reaffirmed that sportsmen will always at a certain part of their athletic careers reach this WALL that you cannot improve anymore.. but im like stuck there like for almost 1 whole month.. im beginning to lose that compeitive spirit.. just paddling and putting effort sastifies me now... a far cry from when i wanted to be NUMBER 1 in canoeing... now... i'm one of the slowest paddlers in my team... WHY COMPETE THEN????

thouGht oF thE daY: i enVy guys that can always strike up interesting conversations with frenz.. i feel.. i'm losing all my socialising skills already.. i prefer to be alone now... but yet.. i still yearn for someone... what is wrong with mE???

dEminG
daRe tO dReaM! (but can i acHieVe thaT dreAM? hAIz..)

hmmz.. today is a nice day!!! ^__^ today i woke up ar.. went open my window.. then my face went """-___-""" loLx.. the wind was so strong.. i bet my armani was already done.. w/o geL! >.< yeah today was cOOL literally and illterally.. overall quite a good day for me lar... =]

well.. you guys should know.. im really passionate abt leading my canoeing team.. hahaz.. sorry if you've gotta hear me nag and complain here and there... but all in all i'm doing all this for one thing...(i finally found the word) INSPIRE.. unlike other ccas.. i dont scold... demand... lie my way to get my way.. all i did... is all to INSPIRE... everytime i take my J2s training.. i try my best to shout the loudest.. move the fastest.. work the hardest... all to give them that spark of inspiration.. many times i whine here and there.. becoz they do they receive that spark.. but today it finally reached them... THANKZ A BILLION MONICA!!.. gotta admit i was beginning to lose hope in my effort ever reaching my teammates.. but not only mon.. the way the J2s responded to her call was equally motivating for me... i feel strength pulsating thru my veins again... SRJC CANOEISTS ROCKZ!

today i also become more free... actually i've got a little crush on a GAL but then... today i saw that she has a BF!! lOLx.. strangely enough... of coz i was alittle depressed.. but now i feel more carefree as b4... at the same time i feel i know myself better now... many times in my life i've let things past or not really approach girls i feel attached to... and many times becoz i hesitate.. i only find out later that they're already attached... *shRugs* maybe im just too much a coward.. hahaz... but i never knew abt how to really initiate though i've gave losta motivations to my frenz when they are down in relationship blues... guess.. its just not my time... maybe one day my love will come to me.. maybe she won't... ONLY HEAVEN KNOWS

thouGht of the day: yEah!! 4E1 having a outing on 7th junE~~ hahaz.. cant wait to see those cooL guys agaIN! chILL~!

deMinG
daYs i'VE liVed to REmEmber.. thoSE swEet anD biTter mEmoRIes i shaLl kEep in my heaRt foReveR..

yeahz.. today went to CHINESE GARDEN to meet our coach.. helped out with some kinda carnival going on there.. then we were briefed by this raymond guy that we just supposed to paddle to welcome the V.I.P i guess.. hahaz.. the water is FRESHWATER but then its kinda more muddy than macritchie and worst of all was the boats.. we had some river HIGH cockpit kayaks.. so sad lorz.. the boat cannot go straight.. we end up keep turning in circles and for once is slower than dragon boats.. but during the real performance.. marcus and i managed to paddle really fast (for that kinda boat) and kept pace with weiliang and liang kiat on a straight path while the rest all ended up drawing circles in the water.. lOlx!

after that the guys went rather sian.. all complaining about wasting time and missing the entrepreneur's day for this *sai kang*.. to me its just something new and fun.. coz first time i went to chinese garden mahz.. then as we rested, raymond allowed us to try the mini dragon boats.. loLx.. now i know why those guys so BIG lorz.. its all BRUTE FORCE lorz.. not as much skill as canoeing.. but it was pretty fun.. we were like rowing SAMPAN (aiYo sampaN.. aiYo aIyo SampAN~~) and having fun until it rained.. when it stopped we were interviewed by this cool reporter.. hahaz... she quite hyper.. she interviewed me and monica then went on a dragon boat to end the report.. YEaPz.. i'm on tV! hEhez

later rushed back to SRJC was a little late but mr tan wasn't too pissed.. lucky i signed up as runner abit cool lar.. hahaz.. directing ppl.. with HONKY WALKY TALKY and dont have to sit down in the hall like the rest.. i managed to entertain myself while doing my job well with no complaints.. we also got the privilege to dig in b4 the other students.. heHez.. college day was kinda sianz for me.. coz i was shacked from the morning.. then when i actually sat down i K.O-ed... but when i saw the V.I.P's WIFE i was awaked to life again.. THERE ARE CHIO HOT BABES IN SINGAPORE!!!... but ar... must wait till i become a BANK PRESIDENT then maybe got chance lar.. hEhez... soooOOOo hoT loR!!!

then at night went off with my teammates to watch SHREK 2 hahaz.. damn lame and corny show which was overall rather funny.. havent really hear the whole cinema laugh so loud for some time le.. got one scene was like pinnochio was doing MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.. loLx.. then he needed to extend his nose to rescue his frenz.. then "donkey: we need you to lie like say I'm wearing girl's undergarment!" "pinnochio:I'm wearing girl's undergarment! *no reaction*" SILENCE "shrek: dont tell me you're wearing them..." "pinnochio: No i'm noT!" NOSE GROWS LARGE... "pinnochio: nothing erotic!" NOSE GROWS LARGER "gingerbread: its a thong!!".. hahaz...

on my way back xue ying and my mom were asking abt the interview coz my relatives were calling in to my mom about it.. my observant aunt even saw that everyone else spoke chinese except me hahaz.. coz i dont wanna sia suay mahz.. *damN i'M gooD* but abit sianz leiz.. didn't get to see how it turnt up.. hahaz.. luckily not much of you watch CHINESE NEWS hehez.. otherwise sure very sia suay.. =p


aRe we cooL or whaT?


963 claN... wiTH a dooR goD on thE siDe ^__^

THought oF day: oH maNZ!!! shE's sOoOooOoOoooOoooo cuTe whEn shE sMiLes.. *heaRt meLts*

dEminG
i'M on TV~~ hEhez.. biG dEAl... theres stILl that emPTinesS in my hEart as i sEe my fRenz alL aTtached.. hAIz.. >.<

wah.. after missing one whole day of sch.. it felt weird to be back in sch.. hahaz.. apparently i was the only lively one ard.. robust and active all that devoid in my fellow comrades.. =] brisked the day away and end up screwing up my practical as well as saboh-ing rs' experiment.. lOlx.. unintentional of coz.. =p after sch went for swim.. yesterday msg my grp ppl.. then today all decided not to go.. FABIAN recently very hard to jio him out.. much less to swim when there's no lesson... =~~ VINAY got to come back sch at 5.. so no point.. WEI LUN got some family dinner... JIA JUN got date.. bLeahz... JANE decided not to go since no one going.. hahaz.. enD up.. i went ALONE to the pool.. until i realised.... that I HAVE 40CENTS LEFT IN MY WALLET... in case you wondering why.. the entrance fee is 50 CENTS

omG.. then begun my stupidest i havent do for a long time.. from SRJC all the way to HOUGANG swimming pool.. i was walking looking down.. praying hard i find a 10 cents coin on the floor LOLX!!!! hahaz.. sounds damn farnie lorz.. hahaz.. but when man is desperate we do anything eh? hahaz.. but it was futile went there already.. no money.. then lucky for me.. got a great fren KIAT LOONG hahaz.. my knight in shining armour.. was keen on swimming so he came along and we went swimming together...

obviously he havent swam for a LONG TIME even the goggles he wears is that for like 9-12 yrs old.. hahAz..just did little swimming.. mainly was ZIM ZHUI and suntan.. hahaz.. was very crowded today.. no chiobu leiz.. but got lotsa bikinis and 2-piece stuff.. =D~~ later on our very own SRJC SWIM TEAM came for its training.. then as an amatuer swimmer (notice i swim very badly) i went pacing them.. the thing abt sports.. even if you know you aint good.. its always fun to challenge yourself and RACE with someone better hahaz.. although i did win the bigger sized guys for 3 laps of freestyles, they kept going at that speed for like 20+++ laps.. manz.. was i mistaken to think canoeing training was tough.. hahaz.. but in truth ALL SPORTS CCAs ARE RESPECTABLE coz we all TRAIN HARD in diff fields.. ppl fear and think us canoeists as crazy coz we focus on ENDURANCE and SPEED but if you really notice how our sports cca's function.. they are tough in their own way... JIA YOU SRJC ATHLETES!!

well at least now i get another passionate swimmer.. hEHez.. thankz man kL.. if not i swim alone.. (though im used to it) might get a little boring esp with so many ppl ard.. we had a little chat abt our class gals again.. not say i wanna say lar.. but... they have to learn how to open up more.. or i can already forsee them being condemned in UNIVERSITY as they pale in comparison to other active JC gals i know.. today GP lesson the gals kana SLAUGHTERED again by MR. P Tan... kinda feel sorry for them.. but also they abit cannot make it.. they gotta learn the important skill that no textbook writes... COMMUNICATION SKILLS ladies... ladies...

kinda envious of kL and co. too.. they actually have BUS STOP GANGS like after sch they all go same bus stop talk abit then go home.. i take at upper serangoon road and only like pheobe occasionally goes that way too.. but most of the time.. i take bus home at 8pm-9pm after training.. so bus rides are always so lonesome.. soBz..

well tml got training b4 COLLEGE DAY but coach wanna jio us go CHINESE GARDEN for exhibition canoeing hahaz.. sounds fun eh? hEhez.. but not confirm yet lar.. look forward to my acccount tml.. until then... going to meet kL anD hX later.. CyaZ duDes!!!! chILL~!

thouGht oF thE daY: GP lEssonS woulD bE interEsting iF we rEAseaRch thEn dEbate.. the poinTs are muCh more aGgressiVe anD fun...

dEminG
eiGht paCks!!!! you're nExt!

My mind's unweaving/ 7:33 PM

Thursday, May 20, 2004

yEAh.. today woKe up aT 7.35am sia.. hahaz.. just nice my fellow classmates were doing their majulah.. hEhez.. why leiz? coz today is moi day!! hEhez.. to CENTRAL MANPOWER BASE.. then i realised something as i got packed... "where's Cmpb aR?" hahaz thankz to wx's map i remembered it was somewhat close to my grandparents house.. so off i went...

first time at 8am take NEL wah sey.. lots working ppl leiz.. all suits... ties... dresses... then i realised that MATURE OFFICE WOMEN look good lehz.. hahaz.. if only we had some of those teaching us.. *sobZ* esp got 1 or 2 not too much older than me somemore... hmMMz.. >.< i took a cab from outram park to cmpb.. then i realised it was actually one of those ulu buildings i passed by b4 in 2002... during one of my venture night hikes we were going to SAJC from IKEA.. then it was 3am so no one there.. but looks quite nice leiz.. so kewl.. got army men with SAR at the gate there.. so kewl...

and so begins my adventures in the CMPB building... of coz i went over the reception and signed up.. next stop was the photo station.. we put on this uniform and took a picture thats gonna appear in our NS men concession NRIC... wasn't the nicest pic.. but my hair was right how i wanted it.. ^__^ then after surrending my NRIC to the counter begun a long wait with a whole room of JC students mostly from RJC.. and NYJC... i was the ONLY GUY FROM SRJC kewl eh? apparently jc students are just as smart.. overheard that the RJC guys chose this date coz got some test.. hEhez.. ^5 bruDder...

that wait was the longest i think.. took my notes read abit till they finally called us for station Number 1: LAB sounds nice? actually its the PISS TEST hahaz.. yepz we got this kinda universal paper litmus paper and we went to the toilet and went 'dipping'.. lOlx.. some of the guys actually just pissed.. so they were like panicking "SHIT NO URINE!!!" hahaz.. after that had the blood test when the guy used this pin to quickly poke my finger... *middle one* and took samples from it..

next off was the 2nd station: ENT dunnoe what it stands for leiz.. they put us into this weird cubicle.. soundproof one then we put on a headphone and they put thru sounds of diff volume and frequency.. all we were suppose to do is put our hands up from which ear the sound is coming from.. i kinda screwed up so i was abit worried.. then the guy scribbled a "e" on my space.. i was kinda worried.. coz i was dying for a PES A..

next was 3rd station:DENTAL hEHez.. my queue all very slow leiz.. the dentist looked thru their teeth and kept saying losta funny codenames and numbers.. think coz deformed or something... then i was damn sian coz the guys in front of me all got alot of weird looking teeth.. hAhaz.. then came my turn.. she scan thru then just say the ending phrase... woOhOO hahaz.. go brush your teeth lar brudders.. save her so much trouble.. hEhez... =D *smILes* after that had this head check i think.. they ask you bite something in front that the machine rotates around your head scanning i guess...

up next was the X-RAY station.. we took off our shirts and waited in the room for our turn.. the other guys quite skimpy leiz.. then got this hwa chong guy i saw outside quite muscular lidat got one big belly lOlx.. damN i'm baD... ^__^ we went in and the scanned our torso.. they made us lie flat on a board and place our hands at the back like some chicken wing lidat.. in a flash its done.. but you feel kinda molested by the machine.. hahaz.. having big chests is bad manz.. dont you agree gals? >.<

phew.. still can continue readinG? ^__^ station 5 was the EYE test.. as i know.. my eyes are quite bad lar.. the only factor that really makes me think i can't make it for commandos... but they just had the colour blind test and a reading test with my specs on.. but they used the machine and fold out the degree lar... *sobZ* gooD byE commanDos...

then the question popped up... "when's the infamour cough test?" aRhA! station 6: MEDICAL its actually like one whole big room of inspections.. first had a blood pressure test.. feels like some OSIM MASSAGE one.. hahaz.. then HEIGHT AND WEIGHT damn.. got short commandos anoT? then the EFG station.. dunnoe do what one leiz.. think its to check fat percentage ba.. it was like some SADOMACHOISM device lorz.. got alot of things attached to this wire.. some used to clamp my legs and hands.. others to pinch my chest and everywhere else.. after that was the infamous test! woOhoO.. hahaz.. went in and saw this si bei sian doctor.. asked if i smoked, took drugs or HOMOSEXUAL*couGhs hX*he just asked me stand at the side... "pull down your shorts and underwear..... cover your mouth.... cough... ok... turn around... bend down.... ok...".. hahaz.. poor guy.. think he like sees an average of 100 of those stuff that he like very sian.. hahaz...

yeah.. after that just took measurements for my uniform and a brookes running shoe.. *sobZ.. i'm gonna leave my asics trainer 9 behind.. nOOoo then i tot gonna go home le.. then STATION 10 the MOST MOST SUCKIEST STATION.. the VOCATIONAL ASSESSMENT TEST they put us on this computer.. in MS-DOS format asking us physics, common sense, IQ, maths, english qns... reminds me of SAT lorz.. 2 hours spent typing numbers and racing against the clock.. wah lanz eh... i was fighting my own battle sia.. KEEPING AWAKE

well thats all folks!! hEHez.. after that test i was soooooooooo mentally drained.. i decided not to aggravate my brain cells decimation by studying for physics.. so went back.. chilled out then went back for gym training... now got flame le... COMMANDOS!!! onE dREaM.. gYm!! TRACK!! diET!!! TrainINg!!! here i comE!!!


coMmanDos!!


i'LL bE thERe sooN!!

dEminG
from boY to maN(1986-2001).. from mAn to a sTroNg maN in hEArt anD soUL (2001 anD bEyonD!)

My mind's unweaving/ 8:19 PM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

waH.. yesterday training quite xiong.. but i machiam not tired leiz from yesterday.. then this morning i got outta the bed.. then IT struck.. the POST-TRAINING BLUES oh manz.. yesterday i felt so pepped up with energy.. i tot i might just survive this week in top form.. but then... hahaz.. diE le lar.. don't think can chiong tutorial as much as i hoped le.. soBz...

siao liao lar.. this thursday i going CMPB for my NS check-up... you know ar... that time my class ppl all very steady.. say wanna pon sch together go for check up.. so i signed up on 20th may 2004.. then i told the others.. they say "ok!".. then end up all book either in june or july.. aRgh!! diE le lar.. this thursday gonna go there surrounded by gay half naked ah bengs... good bye my innocence... =p dunnoe why leiz.. recently chionging weights again... wanna get picked for some cool army appointment leiz.. even weixiong and Kiat loong got invitations for pilot test... liEWz.. so jealous.. i wanna get ComMando invitaTIon!! >.<

you know ar... Hua xIAng really DISGUSTED me today lorz.. wah kao.. he sent me a message that went:

Deming, must buy a three storey cake on next sunday k? And twenty ps2 games original, plus a drugged ****-er.. then i'll be very grateful :)

. . . . . . . i think ar.. this might actually be his first time that he's cerebrating his bdae with his FRENZ instead of marine creatures.. but still ar.. wah kaoz.. message me such a bhB thing really turnt me off lorz.. actually i tot of getting him something cool.. but after i receive his message i really wonder manz.. hAhaz.. as how mr tan puts it..."muShrooOMmmMmmMMss~~~"

dEminG
playinG onImuSha 3.. woohoO~~

My mind's unweaving/ 8:59 PM

Monday, May 17, 2004

hahaz.. today abit corny ar.. dunnoe why keep thinking of GAMES.. you know ar.. hX ar.. if you shave him botak.. then plug in some metal dish on his head.. he might actually look just like YURI from RED ALERT 2? loLx.. samE kinda brain anyways.. >.< then today i suddenly feel the AURA.. as i said to kL "i use to have an yandao aura of slackness.. today i look diff coz i have the YANDAO HARDWORKING AURA today.. hEhez" kinda reminds you of the warcraft 3 heroes eh? =]

wah kL ar.. tmD.. damn mecrenary.. think nowadays he really broke le.. SUPER MONEY FACED loRz.. hahaz.. of coz he's joking lar.. but its beginning to quite irritating that he relates any thing to money.. loLx.. BAO DUO KING talking abt money.. GRAD BALL abit ex eh? alot of ppl like dont wanna go coz no $$.. but i never went for a grad ball b4.. so i DIE DIE must go.. of coz i set my appointment with my classmates... my canoeists all jio me leiz.. but i nei nei say wanna go with class.. haiZ.. dont think that sentiment will ever be shared by the others.. bLeahZ...

today'S training was ok lar.. not too xiong.. did 5 rounds of 8-stations circuit the J2s kinda underperformed alot though.. i kinda changed my approach to not scold them anymore for not shouting.. but the standard of shouting just keeps dropping... i don't know.. last time i prioritised training to discipline.. now i guess the lack of discipline has really whacked me hard on my back.. nevertheless its good to hear that our batch is really good.. i wonder how the outcome will be.. frankly speaking i've already lost the drive to win... i feel so behind the other canoeists.. my boat is the slowest among the other 3 doubles.. and they keep improving while im stuck at the same or worst timings... hAiz... wonder what all this training is for then.. when i can't win at all...


thouGht oF thE daY: thE more i lOok aT her.. thE more cuTe shE is to mE.. buT... buT... i guEss fREnz is aLl we caN be...

dEMinG
STudiouS auRa acTivated: miGHt noT bloG eveRyday ya? musT tahAn woR.. hEHez =]

My mind's unweaving/ 10:18 PM

Sunday, May 16, 2004

hmmz.. today went to sch for GP enrichment ar.. kana PANG SEY lorz.. tmD.. took cab and spent 4 bucks coz i woke up late.. and hold and behold.. THERE'S NO LESSON TODAY!! ---____--- tmD.. mdm ainon like only tell her class ppl one.. me fabby amos and some other guys ended up wasting 30min of their life in sch.. bLeahZ...

anyways training in the afternoon wasn't too good.. the water was particularly HEAVY today.. somemore got losta latecomers and poor sense of urgency.. frankly speaking i was very dissapointed... thats why i found myself shouting at the J2s like a wild dog then my usual tekan posture.. since last year.. i always worried as seniors always feedback on me that DISCIPLINE is what is lacking in the team.. as i see the J1s reinterating our same mistake i begin to think if i was right to have let loose of our strict tekan traditions... hAiz.. really felt damn F**ed up esp when i see the J1s still happily eating ICE CREAM and J2s chatting like nothing serious happened today... CAN'T THEY PLS TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?? many times i worry that i have bred a bunch of uncaring canoeists who only worry abt their own fun and enjoyment.. i pray that that it isn't true....

then things turnt to a more nicer mode as i and hao yi went over to orchard mrt to meet my classmates and DEWI - our ex-classmate - she's leaving for aussie this monday to study.. so we had this "surprise" meeting yupz.. we went to the city hall area and she suggested this POTLUCK idea.. hahaz.. sounds nice so i went with KL and FabBY to buy puffs(polar) spagetthi(han's) dumplings(chinese stall) and drinks(BK)... but ar.. loLx.. what the lorz.. POTLUCK our class ppl almost EVERYONE ELSE bought Fast Food.. i.e MACDONALD hahaz.. but it was kewl lar chilling out at esplanade and watching the sea with free music and losta crap to talk abt.. (from good old days to mushroom antics)

gotta say ar.. think our class really too stressed le.. they kinda lost that tinge for enjoyment and ROMANCE hahaz.. not really romance lar.. just that i think its a more appropriate to describe that unfathomable feeling of a woman.. after eating they all wanted go back le.. then dewi like walked us to a park there.. some guys kept pestering "where are we going???" of coz she didn't say anything but i seemed to be the ONLY guy who knew that she just wanted to go someone quiet.. so i guided the guys along and we settled down further down where we took turns to write autographs and chat as we looked upon the sea.. we talked abt losta stuff.. like our First impressions when we first met each of us on D-1... AMBITIONS and DREAMS hahaz.. kinda farnie to hear all their dreams.. from being a PROFESSIONAL WOMANISER(WX) to social workers... even childhood dreams like being a police or firemen hahaz.. gotta say TAKE CARE!! to dewi.. thankz for being such a supportive classmate last year.. hope you find your dreams in australiA!!!

thouGHts oF thE daY: 1. thEre's no SUch thinG aS no mEaninG in goinG sOMewhEre.. evEn a quiET plaCe wiTh The riGHt pPL iS fun...

2.aLwayS thinK moRe oF whaT a woman waNts mOst..

3.when you see a shirt with losta words.. there's always only one word that means anything.. ^__^


a gRp pIc.. *parDOn thE obSceNE poSE.. >.<


thE onE finGer agAinSt thE ruGby foRmaTIon.. ^__^


a RaRe piC wiTh faBby~~ yAndaO eh? ^__^

dEminG
dO yoU stiLL haVe a DrEaM in minD?

My mind's unweaving/ 1:46 AM

Friday, May 14, 2004

hAhaz.. yeah today was the AEROBICS MARATHORN yEpz.. as usual the whole canoeing team was down except for some J2s... this time it was hip hop and latin jazz... manz.. as usual my hip hop dance routine was easy to catch on.. (last time in sec sch i was a dancer for scout campfires *abt 15 public dance performances so far* and it was mainly street hip hop and breaking ya?) hahaz.. but then came the BUTT SHAKING part.. hahaz.. liew.. i cant shake my BUTT and BODY lorz.. so envious of the instructor who shook her butt and bod until so nice and hot lorz! hahaz.. but today didn't win best dancer lar.. of coz abit dissapointed.. but it was overall still very fun as half of the male winners were from the team.. hEhez.. of coz i renewed my promise to learn salsa and BUTT SHAKING so that i can dance better next time ya? hEHez.. bTw.. GERS AR... MUST DANCE BETTER KZ? DONT ALWAYS NO CANOEING GERS WIN LEIZ.. =p

later we went over BK for dinner cum supper.. there at first very quiet leiz.. coz the noisy ones were on another table.. till we talked abt something close to the heart of guys... ATTENTION: THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNTS CONTAIN PROVOKING AND REQUIRE HIGH LEVELS OF OPEN-NESS TO READ TOPIC = MORNING ERECTION.. hahaz... yeah.. the gers were QUITE surprised to hear of this leiz.. hahaz.. as guys would know.. its a NATURAL reaction yea? maybe there's some bio reason but i havent reach the topic yet.. hEhez.. abt it we were talking abt a few sub topics.. like embarrasing erections with ppl looking..... erection during lessons...... sudden rush of blood => sudden painful erection... diff ways to hide erections... as the sex talk became more and more exciting we reached the INEVITABLE topic of MASTURBATION and the ONES THAT MAKE IT POSSIBLE

manz.. weiliang was like sharing all his "glorious" punishments he do to his.. ahEmz.. coz it didn't listen to his taming.. (due to unwanted erections).. then they mentioned a true statistics.. 99.999999% guys masturbated b4.. the remaining 0.0000001% are LIARS hahaz.. but well its a reality of life yeaH? then the gers were happily being educated till they started to bTh.. hahaz.. esp when the topic of masturbation.... got turned to them... o.O hmMz... then of coz came the topic of DELIVERY when marcus displayed his biological intelligence that the birth canal can enlarge to 36 times its original size... and hence.. the topic for today.. hEHez..

dEminG
hey hEY donT bE inSultEd yA? its really all natural yA? im sure you're mature enough foR thiS ba? ^_^

My mind's unweaving/ 11:21 PM

Thursday, May 13, 2004

manz... just now i was surfing frenzter(just fixed up) then i saw a bulletin my bro put up.. it had a link to the video of nick berg's beheading by iraqi captors.. at first i wanted to watch it for curiosity.. it turnt out horribly disgusting... they made him talk abt himself then knee in front of the camera as one of them read a speech abt jihad and all... while the others just seemed eager to do something...

suddenly they will start chanting and the reader will pull a long blade from his clothes and the whole group mobbed him and started to behead him from the front.. the most disgusting part was his face.. even when he was visibly dead.. they had difficulty sawing off his head.. and kept tugging his hair as they cut deeper and deeper until it came out.. the scene is simply indescipable..

i'm very agitated by this acts of demonized slaugthering.. that american was just a civilian sent to u.s to maintain ELECTRICITY and they kidnapped him and beheaded him... for FARK??? like what my bro said i would just want to gun those perpertrators down themselves.. what if i sent my son there to save lives and get beheaded on tv insteaD? this war is really putting the whole world down from humanization.. such atrocities and all really goes to show what the world is coming to... i just want to send a prayer to nick berg and his family.. let's all pray that god will show mercy on them and let them awake to the realisation of what unforgivable crime they committed... damn WARS... i hate them!!

dEminG
the video is so disturbing i cant get the picture out of my head.. aRgh...

My mind's unweaving/ 11:19 PM

hmmz.. actually since last week i noticed that my arm there got this kinda constricting feeling.. esp when i'm doing push ups weights or pulls ups... anything to do with hand exercises had my right wrist feeling real weird.. then yesterday during sea training it went *POK!* ouCH.........

hahaz dont worry lar its still there.. but i totally lost control of my wrists for the remaining laps.. today just writing or doing pull ups made me feel very weird.. as though my wrists feels MISPLACED crap.. it better not be a dislocation... but overall i didn't really get any serious problem from today's training..

kinda surprised today.. liang kiat said one of the smartest thing i ever hear him say.. *not that he's dumb lar* loLx.. j/k j/k... he debriefed the J1s abt this thing of having 2 kinda SMILES during trainings.. 1 is when you are barely starting and not serious enough.. smiling at STUPID stuff.. then theres the 2nd one that when you are in a push up position almost going beyond your limit when you turn to look at the teammate next to you - suffering just as much - and yet you still garner all your strength and SMILE... the kinda love and motivation one can get from teammates in times of harsh training is really a great feeling that is also one of the main reasons why i love canoeing.. the cca where ONLY THE TOUGHEST FITS!

dEminG
aErobicS maRathoRn tml!! aM i gonNA win another CHeaP soCks? >.<


juST a simPle 7 lettER woRd thaT meanS sO muCh tO mE

My mind's unweaving/ 9:41 PM

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

here's some pics from my family outing on mother's day!


yEAh yEah my kEWL moM!


nicE~~ mOoOoOOO~~~ maRcHE!!


sunSEt aT maRinA sQuaRe

dEminG
anYwayS chEck ouT zoRpiA foR comPLete aLbumS!!

My mind's unweaving/ 7:53 PM

wah recently the temperature SUPAH hoT loRz.. tmD.. melting again.. tot the dry season over coz was raining quite often for some time.. but looks like its gonna hot again.. at least desert at night is COLD... not HOT and HUMID.. bLEahz.. after an insufferable time wasted at the Hall in the morning (plus a close shave before being part of the mR tAn lovers *latecomerS*) my whole day was just bent on the activity of the day.. SWIMMING!

hahaz today luckily bio cancel so we managed to swim longer than as planned.. recently tuesday we always strip and change so fast we spend very little time in the swimming pool.. loLx.. jane was sick and weilun pon today.. so today only left me fabby JJ + vinay.. amazing ppl ya? coz they always complain abt having to rush here and there.. but they STILL WANNA SWIM TWICE A WEEK hahaz.. coz today no time to carry out my plan i focused my time teaching vinay...

as i went abt teaching i clearly know i DO NOT KNOW SHIT FROM SWIMMING hahaz.. i nv learnt the proper strokes or anything.. but i felt good.. coz like CANOEING it was thru the experience that i have grew WISER not just smarter.. hEhez.. as in the strokes all this i do not follow books or anything.. i ask ard occasionally and also use my knowledge of sports excellence from canoeing to swimming.. really i feel good that i'm actually really inclined to sports science.. hahaz.. though i dont swim nor canoe that well.. i feel i'm on the RISE! hEhez.. in fact.. i'm getting kinda bulKy.. =p clothes getting tight again.. SObZ...

dEMinG
laTer doinG pROjEcT aT mE houSE!! aRgh.. anD HX's comiNG!!

My mind's unweaving/ 7:34 PM

Monday, May 10, 2004

hahaz.. today training was shiok loRz.. hahaz... did 5 rounDs oF S-J CircuiT had some casualties though but i was totally breathless.. was a little sastified with myself coz i was abt to puke due to heavy lunch by my warm up jog.. but luckily my timed circuit and S-J circuit turnt out great.. was able to sprint rather well today except for some times when my legs clamp up and hit each other when i sprint.. =p

more importantly i reaffirmed my position of being a captain.. yepz.. many times i fret and complain of the discomforts of being a captain but i can really say i never hated the job... today after tough training i had a serious talk with my J2s and set their minds back to the focus level i want them to reach... meanwhile the J1s are turning well to our conditioning.. proving that the time we spent and sacrificed for them was not wasted.. even harsh trainings and all they are really frenly to me and show me due respect whenever i speak to them during debriefs... its heartening to see both the J2s anD J1s grow and mature thru all those tough trainings i put them thru... really pin high hopes on this batch manz.. dO SRJC canoEists pROud!

after changing into dry clothes.. (from the sweat filled singlet shorts and undies) i was still PERSPIRING like a pig lorz.. kaoz.. the weather is totally unbearable.. so hot and humid even at night... at least i feel more comfy than usual after trainings.. thank god for extra undies! >.< on the bus with flower elephant to hougang point to study we saw this two young gers who was actually being scolded and beaten by parents.. after a while both of them turn back and were like smiling at us.. though i did disturb hx saying "looks like they like you" i know deep down.. i got "Xiao Hai Yuan" ar.. like how JK oR YS attract teenage gals.. i tend to attract children of both gender.. lOlx.. really leiz.. some think coz i LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM (?) or maybe i click well.. everytime my younger cousins find me they just love to play with me leiz... hahaz... maybe i should be a kindergarden teacher next time.. makeS a great faTher eh?? loLx

thouGht oF thE daY: LosErs + liaRs + sUCk-up + uglY + stUPiD +iDioTs +wannAbE SlaVes = CounCillORs

dEMinG
baCheLor 4Eva!

My mind's unweaving/ 11:49 PM

Sunday, May 09, 2004

yEpz today wEnt wiTh my familY to MARCHE to haVe dInneR.. haHaz.. i abiT mounTain tuRtLe aR.. first time i ever go into marche... the interior design is very extricate... lotsa nice textures and all.. and when you first go in you see stacks of fruits and classy displays... they got losta new kinda food.. like pork knuckles, rosti and food like pasta pizzas with a diff kinda taste.. verdict:NOT BAD hahaz.. the food is kinda good.. but for some the price is too hefty esp seafood... the WAFFLE was great though =D~~ wanted to try out the wine but my mom didn't wanna drink.. sobZ

considering i havent been to suntec for some time i was rewarded with a unforgettable eye candy.. lOlx.. CHIO BUS were ALL over marche i tell you... loLx.. no kinding manz.. and i bet they are abt 20..19 lidat... manz... they are sooooooooo HOT!! with no rowdy distastful teenage guys ard... i'm pretty thankful for mother's day.. =p hEHez.. j/k lAR.. but really lorz.. got one got very nice model like hair... hahaz.. if only 1 of those 5-6 chiobus i saw there was in my class.. SObz sobZ soBZ...

later we went over to the esplanade then to the merlion park to check out some balloon show my mom wanted to see.. on my way there i was reminscent of my OGL days.. hahaz i fondly remember i was the RigeL orientaTion faMiLy lEader and we set off for an AMAZING RACE from SRJC to Compass Point to Meridien JC to Suntec to Esplanade to Fullerton to Raffles Place to Macrithchie Reservoir and back to SRJC.. hAhaz.. anD riGel from LAST BECAME FIRST!! yEah! hEhez.. my parents brought us to the old merlion park and talked abt their dating days and all... as i recalled more and more of my experience here.. running ard like madmen.. hahaz.. was really fun.. i wouldn't mind playing it again... hEhez.. =D

thouGhts oF thE dAY: evER taSted dEep fRied bReaDed MUSHROOMS? lOlx.. anD boaT qUay pubS goT chiO buS leIz... (my bRo mEntioneD oF sEeing bArs - horizontal and vertical - on The tabLes in thE puB...) oH mAnz.. i can'T wait tiLl i becOMe 18!! O.o =]

dEMinG
thE StinGing anD alL was aLl woRth iT.. foR a moTher'S smIle iS enouGh to touCh any son... =]

My mind's unweaving/ 10:30 PM

hEhez.. finally got my lazy butt to upload the pics i took for our sch annual sports meet.. some amendments to my blog too.. background pic is now a kewl bike i came across... reminds me much of my olD wiFe... hahAz.. but well whats gone is gone ya? reminds me of myself.. hahaz... no gF... so just look at other gers... =pp j/k laR.... but in a way its a GUY'S INSTINCT yA? hEhez.. enjoY thE piCs!! anD hapPy moTher's daY to alL!


aTHleTes taKing pLedge


thE oRIon hunkies cuM chEer-"lEaDers"


snapShot oF pao Pao whiLe i waS fiXing thE caM wiTh him in fronT.. loLx.. chEck oUT thE facE! =]


thE faSTEst spRinterS in Sch.. lOok aT thEm flY! go yonG shENG!


thE pRIde oF ouR clAss.. yOng shEn!! akA tyS.. =]


ouR oRIon chEerlEaDers in aCtion

dEMinG
foRget abT thE painfUl paSt.. enJOy thE daY.. anD loOK foRwarD tO a bEauTifuL fuTure~!

My mind's unweaving/ 10:49 AM

Saturday, May 08, 2004

yEpz.. foR ppl who don'T noW.. im in ORION... and yesterday was our annual sports meet.. coz i didn't get to sign up to run and my entry for tug-of-war did not register.. i ended up volunteering to lead the ORION CONTINGENT for cheering.. thats right.. J1s and J2s alike.. the night b4 i already knew i needed help so i messaged natalie to help me get helpers.. even so yesterday.. only ALVIN and FABIAN really helped me out alot.. no thankz to the other ppl who offered to support me but failed to do so... at first it struck off pretty well.. considering it was the first time i was leading a CONTINGENT of 10 Classes (smaller than the orientation groups i led for RIGEL) and i was the only pro-active one.. although fabian and alvin did help me alot in leading cheers.. what i really needed is ppl to initiate cheers just like me...

as expected some totally didn't cheer at all.. but quite a few sporty J1s and J2s who knew me lent me their voices... and of coz we outperformed the ill-prepared houses like CETUS and AQUILA however.. i wasn't too HAPPY 1. Pegasus was right to us.. and had around 4-5 of them doing the same thing as me (1 person) and one whole ROW of active shouters... 2. I spent time writing out the cheers and thinking of them the night b4.. yet some of them just throw my paper away... and WORST OF ALL i was told by mabel to lead a cheer during their cheerleaders formation.. but when i tried gathering them to teach them the cheer.. EVERYONE IGNORED ME as they keep their eyes glued on the cheerleaders.. FUCK THOSE LUSTFUL BASTARDS!!! i was very VERY disastified with their response.. here i was trying to gather them to teach them a cheer to make the cheerleading a success.. but everyone turned a blind eye to me.. outside canoeing.. this is the first time i felt so DISRESPECTED like some noisy puppet... when i did lead the cheer.. NO ONE RESPONDED how you think i felt?

after that i was totally speechless i felt that i let the orion cheerleaders down.. yet at the same time i try to console myself that i was one person doing what at least 6 ppl are required to do.. natalie only asked me to lead the cheers one night b4.. and i wasn't properly briefed on the cheer for the cheerleaders part.. but still.. i felt to ashamed to face up to nat nor mabel.. at the same time i was infuriated with the ORION house.. a BIG THANKZ to fabby hx wx pao pao who came to cheer me up.. its not your fault i knew you guys tried your best.. again i felt i done things with insufficient support.. but i do it COZ I DARE TO CHALLENGE THE IMPOSSIBLE many times things come crumpling down on me... but being the 4th,5th time this happened to me.. i wasn't too glad to have it happen again... but thankfully.. ORION WON THE OVERALL HOUSE CHAMPION again... i was really glad.. but then i thought again.. THERE WAS NO AWARD FOR CHEERS and the winning was coz of the great runners like yong shen and barinder for the males.. as i saw natalie hold the medal high in the air.. i felt a sense of JOY and PAIN.. natalie did work hard.. but the other exco members like the VICE-CAPTAIN and game I.Cs of orion didn't play a role at ALL... instead.. I a normal member had to work so hard without any signs of recognition at all... not even a word of thankz.. i left immediately when it ended and i sms-ed nat congratulating her on her win.. only then did she thank me... but it was too late.... it was... too late

today after sea training.. i had a long talk with weilun on the bus home... he talked abt the loss of focus and compared many things to the previous batch... though i did say we shall follow our own principle.. i felt that he was right... I WAS NOT PUSHING THE J2s ENOUGH.. i admit i did slacken up after i started to have more discussions and debates with the J2s.. and though the J2s are much more happier than previous batches.. they have also become weaker and too pampered.. its not wrong to reach a compromise.. but giving them too much concessions has weakened their mind... now with only 2 months left.. i really re-think of why am i here for? to just get my CCA points? NO.. i wanted to see the team win... but as i pushed them harder.. the HARDER they complained but i rethinked my resolve.. if i had still been the rash one last year.. we'll be MUCH MUCH FITTER BY NOW but i wont revert to the me back then.. but i MUST regain that drive i had last year... together with the more reasonable me now.. its hard but i have to keep things to myself.. otherwise we'll waste too much time discussing... all i pray is that they see reason in me.. as i am TEAM DRIVEN leader.. and the aspirations of the team is to WIN.. no matter the price.. i want the J2s to receive that success written across our singlet... TRAINING MUST BE TOUGHER.. AND FOR THAT I WILL BE STRONGER.. THAT I PROMISE

dEminG
wiTh onE moRe ScaR in mY mEmoriES in SRJC.. i woRk harDer to noT let anoTher SCaR huRt mE anyMore...

My mind's unweaving/ 3:05 PM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

loLx.. yesterday GP lecture ar.. coz they had student lecturers teaching on child plight in developing states.. during the Q&A session mr Tan suddenly called out my name while i was writing out my question... of coz UNPREPARED i kinda stumbled ALOT and then had difficulty pronouncing SOLDIERS loLx.. you know ar.. sometimes mic got prob i hear my own voice very weird.. then i was like "ShouLdier.. sOlDgeR etc etc..." lOlx.. until the LT was all laughing away.. loLx.. really ar.. my standard of pronounciation dropped alot since i came to SRJC.. last time St gabs i always took pride as a good SPEAKER ar.. but nowadays i get kan jiong very easily... siAnz leiz.. must be coz my acquaintances ar.. lOlx.. ya lar.. LI HUA COM-PROMISE lar cupon! >.<

today abit xiong for training.. lolx.. left 30min b4 gotta end coz of the 2pid physics test tat was sooooo easy.. (but of coz i NV study lar.. >.<) so we did S-J circuit again 4 rounds yepz.. abit duan qi coz lack of air.. hahaz.. but shiok lar the feeling of sprinting fast.. after that we pumped the PTI who just came back after his injury.. loLx.. welcomE back Liang kIaT!! anD dont thank me for that 200 puSh-upS.. hEhez.. youR welComE in aDvanCe! ^__^

after training i went over to check out on ORION cheerleaders coz yong shen there also mahz.. hahaz.. he'S the only guy other than me from our class that won something for the last aerobics marathorn.. hEhez.. got the knack for dances yepz... coz when i saw the other houses practising at the track i wanted to support my house too leiz.. but when i got there i felt so left out coz there was no one i knew... huinA reminded me that last year i actually said i would join cheerleading this year... SORRY!! i kinda forgotten abt it.. but i was rather keen on joining.. but when i heard there wasn't one at first i kinda dropped the idea coz it clashed with training too.. i went there to accompany ys coz he like also dont know anyone leiz.. so we like wasted our time away.. oF coZ.. my DANCING HORMONES reactivated yA? =]

ys and i tried some breakdance moves ya.. he doesnt know much but neither did i.. hahaz.. just wanna say ar.. GUYS I AM REALLY AN AMATEUR!!! dont always say i can break so well like i some pro.. hahaz.. in fact SR the year 1s have alot of breakers much more advanced than me ya... wanna learn should learn from them.. hEhEz.. oF coz after like 3 monThs since i tried dancing.. my body didn't respond well to my actions leiz.. (+ fatigue from training) but i had fun trying out L-kickS.. 6-StePs... aiR bABy... aiR fReEzE... bAby fReEze.. hAnd StanD.. hEad StanD(nEW!) anD TURtLe! hahaz.. my L-kicks lost touch aloT.. but i had some developments on my aiR freEze anD turTles! hEhez.. met EuGenE who is currently learning breakdance too from PE network and learnt head stand from him.. kEwl eH? and he'S gonna learn my most desired move soon.. FLARE!! hahaz..

ya hor.. weIxionG called me at 10 lidat asking abt schwork and what im doing in sch.. kinda reminds me of the times when i used to have long chats on the phone with some of my close frenz back in sEc 4... somE guys.. mostly giRls la.. last time i used to be PHONE-SHY hahaz.. as in i hardly call ppl esp gaLs.. coz its like you can hear their voice like they're right next to you.. hEhez... gotta admitt lar.. somEtimes i fall for the gaL's VOICE too... *blUsh bluSH* hahaz.. think no one will dare to call me anymore after reading this ya? ;) theN wX was like laming abt.. hahaz.. typiCaL hoRny hoRnet scouTs.. hEhez.. 3 woRds that all mean onE meaning HORNY hEHez.. scoUTS roCkz maN!!

thouGht oF the dAY: i'M thE fasTesT typER in claSs leIZ?? hahaz.. shoulD chaRge them foR evEry woRd i typE for theM lor.. heHez..

dEminG
spoRts daY is TMl!!! anD....... i'M goNNa leaD thE continGenT in chEeRS?? OH FARK!!

My mind's unweaving/ 11:21 PM

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

hahaz.. miSsed me ppl? well sometimes like those old artists ar.. no one worry abt him until he dies or missing for some time.. hahaz.. =p anyways recently nv blog paisey leiz.. esp those that came to check me out last 2 days.. hahaz.. actually i got losta stuff to blog abt.. but just a little tired and sick of life thats all.. anyways i'm back in the house ya? in case you noticed i was kinda stern last few days coz of schwork and some matters close to the heart ya? =]

anyways mother's day is coming.. and my godsis' birthday happens to be on the SAME DAY!! i got my mom a white gold pendant for 50 smackerools.. and it just so happens i've been taking cabs quite often last few days.. and my wallet is as light as air.. with my cashcard gone.. i have to live on whatever savings i have haf... FINIANCIAL SITUATION=> $7.20 to last till this sunday... hahaz.. guess i gotta make bread to sch tml... sobZ.. if only got gF who makes lunChboX foR me... *daydreams abT animE* but well its worth it lar.. sacrifice alittle here and there for your parents.. though its tough (may help me with my 8 packs dream) its all worth it to see their smiles ya? ^__^

sch's corny as usual.. the gers are as unapproachable as usual.. hahaz.. life's the same.. EXCEPT that mr kwek is starting to diss me off ALOT that bastard purposely praise guys who did the tutorials and show face to those who didn't do so(of coz its me lar)... i nv felt pressurized with sch itself.. but if he keeps making me feel so farked up.. i can't help feeling pissed and to prove him wrong.. tmD.. nv do tutorial means will fail a lvl isit? cCB... thinking of seeing him tml just infuriates me to the top.. at least nowadays mR ONg is much more approachable.. now mr kwek is ENEMY OF THE STATE top priority wanted DEAD not alive.. =
recently sch got council elections coming up soon.. so those UNSIGHTLY councillors wannabe start putting posters with their pathetic faces on it.. then recently also every morning got 1 min speeches by them.. some preach abt welfare, others flaunt their linguistic DISABILITY and today some SMART gal went dancing.. haiZ.. its not that i hate them.. i DETEST them.. we also heard all those crap last year.. and the council barely made a significant impact on the student body after the ORIENTATIONS le.. hAiz.. they're just like politicians.. make themselves sound so great just to get into the council.. afterall it seems they're more keen on the CCA points than to serve the college.. i can see.. thru their EYES

hahaz.. bio they teaching GROWTH AND REPRODUCTION then wx brought to my attention an interesting point.. cytoplasmic determinants are parts of the cell that determines the characteristics of the cell.. and they reside on the X chromosome.. as guys are XY and gals are XX.. wx cleverly deduced that GUYS (XY) born stupid are due to their MOTHER loLx.. if you take bio it makes sense doesn't it? so if one X is for horny... then GUYS are SUPER HORNY le lorz.. coz Y doesn't have any determinants ya.. so the child has the probabilty of 0.75 being affected by the mother's gene.. heHeez.. no offence to mothers and mothers-to-be in the future.. just don't blame your HUSBANDS if the child becomes a horny crazy kid like me.. hEhez.. hapPy moTher'S day!!

gnImEd
thE aNagraM oF dEminG... anD so thE batTle oF aTtritioN beGIns

My mind's unweaving/ 10:55 PM

Sunday, May 02, 2004

loLx.. happY bDae bEnG!!! hAppy bDae mElissa!! hahAz.. these may day babies.. hEHez.. very easy to remember coz i remember them as their parents having LABOUR on LABOUR DAY!! hEhez.. today woke up at 6.30am packed up and left for SENTOSA yEp yEpz.. its the time of the year again that the team goes out for an outing! hahaz.. then we have this plan of an AMAZING RACE suggested by zhen hao that my and my exco developed on.. coz its early i decided to do the recce on my own... also it gave me time have time alone to reflect on what happened yesterday...

when i took the shuttle to sentosa.. the only ones on the bus with me were just SEntosa Staff members... when i got there it was completely deserted.. after getting my tix.. i walked out of the visitor arrival centre to the ferry terminal...no one at all except the occasion road sweepers surprised to see me alone... kinda rewarding though.. theres this strange kind of wellness and tranquility coz the sun was bathing me with its warm rays... and no one.. no unnatural sounds.. just the sound of the wind.. the beauty of the azure sky and the chittering of nature... i went on to recce from ferry terminal->musical fountain->cable car station->dragon trail->siloso beach->palawan beach->dolphin lagoon->tanjong beach all on foot.. afterwhich i took a monorail(which just got activated at the end of my recce) to meet the cavalry arriving soon... and was i surprised to see Dr. WONG my ex chem tutor.. hahaz.. with her family yepz...

we went straight to siloso beach and true to my prediction we got there at 10am++ when we were supposed to meet at harbour front at 9am.. the usual lar.. biggest latecomer of the day=>WEILUN hahaz.. make us wait for 25min.. tmD.. after fooling ard in the water and getting the suntan lotion on.. i brought the i.cs to check out their stations and went back to brief the J1s on the compeition and sent them off.. first clue was "Manned By Many.. Slower Than Two.. surrounded by what cats can get unto to that dogs can't... qiM? hahaz.. well its "DRAGON TRAIL".. coz ar.. the dragon boat so many ppl.. but slower to our canoe doubles.. hAIz.. hahaz.. then the cats-dogs things of coz is trees lar!!

everything went smoothly as the separation was wide.. but i underproximated the time taken and kept extending the time limit... then something held the teams back ALOT apparently zh anD wL were at cable car station and were told to make their clues more diff.. to the extent that i and clibby who finished our stations took almost an hour just to locate them.. and another to find the answers.. the J1s were all stranded so i made quick amendments and tips so as to get the teams moving.. but really sad coz jon and juliana had to leave at 4pm (our pre-planned dismissal time) but i cut short the route and the J2s reacted quickly.. so the game went on without any further bumps.. but today gotta really apologise to weiliang! hahaz.. our resident gay canoeist.. he was assigned the furthest station with no shelter and was all alone waiting for 4 hours.. when i cancelled his station he was rather upset and all.. i myself felt very sad and disappointed that it didn't turn out as well as i hoped.. just have to blame myself for overlooking the details.. but i SALUTE one and all for their continued sportsmenship and participation!

after the amazing race we went on playing in the water.. and when i lowered my guard.. they snatched me and STRIPPED me in the lagoon.. it was like a crowd was gathering and looking at what they doing to me.. they strangled and mobbed me so hard that i really almost drowned lorz! THANK GOD THAT THE WATER IS NOT CRYSTAL CLEAR!! lolx.. coz last year they took the biggest senior in the water and stripped him naked.. and left him stranded.. this time when no bigger senior was ard.. it came down to the captain... "wo de qin qun ar!!! we went on playing the game when we jumble up our hands and try to UNTANGLE them.. this time w/o speaking at all.. loLx.. it was damn farnie and we won so the J1s had to do forfeit.. cyril made them do hokey pokeys/chicken dances and all.. loLx.. damn sia suay.. but later the J2s joined in too!! hahaz

but of coz today is also not too perfect to my feelings.. today the J2s were having alot of fun with the J1s that i was having alot of trouble handling the amazing race.. i could hardly brief them properly with their full attention then after the race.. zhen hao and cliburn just messaged me suddenly that they're leaving early.. b4 i could find out why they were already off the island (and siloso beach is not too near to the gateway kz?) already upset with the outcome of the race with the sudden leaving of my teammates and the poor cooperation.. i was beginning to feel really screwed again.. i dont that same kinda of confidence when i talk to my team anymore.. more and more i worry that my leadership is not disciplining them well coz their discipline and basic respect is really deproving alot.. it only reflects one things I AM NOT CAPABLE ENOUGH

worst of all after we left we decided to go town to makan.. we went to P.S and meet our seniors.. but the food court was closed.. so we moved to pasta mania in the basement.. but someone insisted that he didn't wanna eat pasta.. and he suggested cartel was better and not much price diff.. quite reluctantly we went on to cartel and when we were waiting outside again.. tempers flared as some of the J2s were pissed that we're like on a wild goose chase.. then lk begun to talk abt leaving and complaining abt prices.. already we were starving and he had to go on making himself clear that he isn't too interested in cartel as well.. at that point i was already very pissed as well and almost shouted "GO LAR!! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" sometimes lk tends to act very sturborn and spoiled and always wants things his way and doesnt compromise for others.. he really disappointed me with his attitude at that time.. but i didn't do that coz i respected him too.. apart from being ex-gabrielites he has a interesting personality thats fun to joke with as comrades from a boy's sch.. but sometimes he tends to be alittle too egoistic and causing alot of displeasure.. despite the turbulent start.. the tensions settled as we chatted and ate.. the CARTEL service SUXXX to the core lorz.. drink must wait 1hr.. ice cream wait for 2hrs.. until we missed our last train and had to go back.. CONDEMN P.S CARTEL!! lousy food.. screw up service and NO AIR-CON!!!

but today i feel abit sad coz as i was so involved in the amazing race that i missed out something i yearned so much to do again.. last year and abt a month ago.. on one of the isles of sentosa was where i first had a SERIOUS crush on a gal... that exact spot where we chatted and all as we watching the sunset together.. i wanted to go there again.. but coz of the programs.. i MISSED IT OUT i felt very disappointed as well.. but thanks to the J1s good responses to my efforts i managed to cool myself down abit though i still felt very empty.. today was not as fun as i hoped for.. and it hurts even more coz i am the one who chereographed this whole thing.. why must this kinda thing always happen to me this year.. have i not showed enough scars of pain on my back(that no one sees?) i don't know.. but i want to PUT AN END TO ALL THIS MISERY!!

thouGht of thE day:sentosa is simply beautiful this morning and sunset.. dark cloud passed at 12 but thankfully was pushed away by strong winds.. thankz alot for the great day my teammates!!! another milestone in my last leg of leadership as a captain... the release from which is somewhat comforting yet heart-wrenching...

dEminG
hoW couLd i foRget... i wanT to gO thEre agaIN.. buT moRe thaN ever i wanT her by mY siDe aGain...


thE incrediBle beauTy of sEntosa aT 8am with compLETely no onE at thE beaCh..


my only phoTo out of 93 with my face in iT


quiEt trAnquilIty aS daWn breAks

=>for more check me out at zorpia.. will post out the pics soon!! (esp SR canoeists!)

My mind's unweaving/ 1:11 AM